A
female
age
30-35,
*ope_l_W1989
writes:Hi, this is a long one so please bare with me! I'm 25. I am in a same sex relationship with my partner who is 4 years my senior. We've been together just over 2years. She has a 4 year old child with her ex, who they have been split for 3 years because he'd been cheating on her throughout her pregnancy with his now partner. He has the child every other weekend, although this has been a gradual increase as he hasn't really been bothered before this last year. Up until about about October last year it was amicable (maybe more than) between my partner and her ex. However, I asked for there to be more space between them, after seeing a inappropriate text that I won't go into here. So my partner decided, to still be amicable, but not to the point she had been. In June this year, the child came back from her dads with a bruise on her cheek. This was the second time she had come home with one. We didn't notice it until we washed her face that evening. My partner text him asking if he had seen her fall or bang herself on anything, as she would have to explain this bruise to the nursery. He didn't reply. My partner text him again after 24hours asking again, He eventually came back with a very shirty response, saying he didn't know how she got it. The month after this he was due to pay maintenance and he has halved it. Without telling my Mrs. He just put half in the bank and waited for the phone to ring. He accused her of treating him like rubbish, which isn't true and I assume it's because she's out that distance between them. That's all sorted through child maintenance now. So this month, and today we found out he had a new baby in June. Would explain his behaviour. But had failed to tell my mrs. However her mum, sisters and dad all knew about this baby but failed to tell her until the child came back this weekend talking about a baby. I understand it's nothing to do with us, if he has another baby. But to not tell my mrs, seems a bit childish and untrustworthy. So that's the money, the 2 bruises on the child's face, the " don't tell her we are meeting up" and now a baby that he has hidden all within the space of 3 months. The child has been incredibly hard work since June so I think this might explain her behaviour.Not to mention when he drops the child off, he literally drops her off and runs. Sometimes not giving my mrs enough time to even ask how her behaviour had been.My mrs is now, wondering whether to stop overnight staying until he can stop this sneaking around. But will still give him days with her, just not over night. What is everyone's view on this? If my partner doesn't trust him then what other choice does she have?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 August 2015):
 If THEY has visitation set up LEGALLY - that means though a lawyer/solicitor, she can't just KEEP the child from seeing her dad.
However, I hope your GF had documented those bruises and honestly she SHOULD have taking the child to see a doctor - a bruise on the face is "MINOR" to internal damage.
If the father doesn't HAVE a "legal" visitation schedule, the mother should contact a lawyer/solicitor and see what she can do to not only keep her daughter SAFE, but to minimize the drama.
What she also could do is TALK to the father and suggest that he has enough to deal with, with the new baby etc, so visitation can stop for a while.
Personally, if I had a little one and shared custody and my baby came home with unexplained bruises I would go through WHATEVER I had to, to keep her safe.
So tell your GF, to contact a solicitor.
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