A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been trying to decide whether to send a Facebook Friend request to a lady friend that i work with. We get on well and have some very good conversations, and have developed a friendship, although we dont actually see each other that much . I know I can never have a future with her but would at least like to continue to be a friend. My problem is (and I shouldnt care) is what her husband is going to think - stupid really, right?I know he is on Facebook with a separate account and although I dont know him, he has more friends than her and I'm sure many of his woman friends are his work colleagues.Women, if you were the woman in question, what would your reaction be to a male colleague doing this?I think Im probably making a bit of an issue out of nothing, considering how many 'Friends' people have who they dont even know, I just dont want to run the risk of being thought of as a pest or a 'stalker', esp since she works for the same company as me.Many thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI will not be doing this- she couldnt even reply to two messages I sent, so asking her to be a 'friend' is just an absolute waste of time
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, that is the point I guess, I do have strong feelings for her (and I think she probably knows this- she is very intelligent (part of the appeal)) but I realise that we can only be friends. There will be no silly business personally or on line as we are both too adult for that ;)I think as you have indicated I am probably thinking about this way too much (a bad trait of mine sadly)Thanks for your advice!
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 The amount of thought and consideration makes me think you like her as more than a friend. You say you know you can never have a future with her. That means you probably do like her. If I were her husband I wouldn't be thrilled but the reality is this, he only needs to trust her. So I guess if you are happy being her friendly co worker and you actually have no motives, no problems exist. Do you have motives? If you do, the husband deoes have a reaqson to question your "friendship" with his wife. For example, if a husband walks into the office where his wife works and gets jealous becasue she's having a coffe break with a male co worker, he's foolish. If the co worker is known to have motives, the husband might wonder. If he sees that "friendship" getting a little silly, like teenagers, he might have reason to be concerned. So, if you REALLY didn't haver ANY feelings for this person, you might not be wrestling with this.
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