A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:While I was at college I had a relationship with another girl and it was my first and only same sex relationship. While I'm not ashamed to have been with a girl, it's not something that I shout from the rooftops.Since then I have moved away and had a few relationships and I have always been honest and said I am bisexual. A few guys have found it sex while the others haven't been bothered either way. I am now engaged to my fiancee who moved here from Australia three years ago. Due to this I have only met his parents a few times whenever they have come over or we have gone over there. We are due to get married early next year and since I'm still friends with my ex girlfriend, I wanted to invite her and her husband. She has had a few more same sex relationships but she got married last year. Now my fiancee knows she is my ex girlfriend and in fact he often laughs about it with her husband who is also ok with it. My issue is that my fiancee doesn't think it would be wise to invite them both unless we ask them to say we are just friends, not former lovers. I found this really strange because you don't just walk up to some one and say hi, I'm the brides ex, but he then explained he is worried about what his family will make of my sexuailty because they are strictly catholic and they are only just ok with us living together before we marry. I didn't even realise people still thought like this but now I'm worried about either upsetting my friend or my future in laws. I'm on my friends side 100% but I can see why my fiancee would worry too. His sister knows about my sexuailty as we get on really well and often talk and I know his other sister doesn't really follow the faith but his mother and her side of the family are really strict. They have always moaned about the fact the wedding is in the UK and not Australia and the fact I'm not catholic. I'm not really willing to let them win over this but at the same time I don't want to upset my fiancee or his family but nor my friend.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): Why would you make a big deal out of this? Who you've slept with shouldn't come up with his family. Your friend should have the class to make sure she doesn't mention your past. Today you are friends so I don't see any situation where your friend might feel the need to 'open up' about her previous sexual partners to strangers. I'm with your fiance on this.
It shouldn't be mentioned. I don't see why she would take offence at not being able to mention it because she wouldn't wish to anyway.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 September 2015):
 I would just tell the ex GF - look my future MIL/FIL are strict Catholics and can we keep the past (us being gf/gf) on the down low at the wedding. I want you there because you are a GOOD friend, but my fiance worries about his parents.
IF she is a good friend she WILL understand. It's not like you are telling her to act differently, just to omit that she is the ex.
Just like if SHE had been a guy, he could be introduced as a friend not an ex.
I think it's pretty simple.
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