A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am divorced from my ex wife for half a year and I miss her very much. We were separated for a while before that, and the marriage was very problematic before that for years although I felt we were still strong enough to fix things.Im wondering if it would be inappropriate to send her a letter just telling her I think of her. I dont really want to reconcile things are just too broken. but I want her to know i havent forgotten her. However, I think she's in a relationship and I dont want to screw that up for her if she's happy.should I write?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): OP here. I only want to regain a bit of friendship. The period that we could have possibly reconciled has probably come and gone. We have a child together, and I do hear from her or see her once in a while because of that, but I would like to be in her life more as a friend. I realize that may take time, but I dont want her to get the impression I have stopped caring for her as a friend.
In some ways, yes, I still love her. But I tend to glorify the past, and I need to get over that because it was a poor marriage in the end and I truly believe we could not have worked out the marriage. But that doesnt mean we cant be friends. After all, we have so much history together.
Thanks for your advice
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): If you want to contact her then do it, you only live once and there is no point cutting people out of your life if you think you can have a friendship over time if she is ok with that. I'm not sure what problems caused you to separate but that may determine whether you will both want to keep in touch. You need to make it clear to her and her new partner that you're not trying to get back together with her as this may cause problems in their relationship.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Nope. Let her get on with her life and do need to do the same. It's over, the fat lady has taken her bow and left the building.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): If u wanted a reconciliation then yes I will advise a letter. However since u do not want to reconcile and she is already in another relationship I suggest that u just have your good memories and let her be. If u do make contact just for the sake of making contact this may be unfair to her bec she has tried to move on.
U may be thinking about her a lot, perhaps u are remembering the good times, the love and happiness: perhaps u still love her?
If u have no desire to reconcile then just being in her life may confuse her and she may not move on fully. Don't confuse her. Sending her the letter/email may give her false hope and u don't want to go down that road.
Seems like she was a remarkable woman? Create your peace and good luck.
LoveGirl
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 No! no more than you'd write to an ex-girlfriend back in hugh school. Close the book it's over.
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