A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey all im 24 and pregnant with my second child, this one is with a man that is 49. we have a great relationship and im proud to have found a man that treats me like a princess. however, we got together the wrong way and i regret that i took him from his wife. he told me he was not happy in his marriage and she told me that he showed no signs of being unhappy. anyway whats done is done. my question is, why does he have to take her the court ordered alimony? why does he not mail it to her. he goes twice a week and meets her at her work place to give it to her. its the only time they talk. he still has her as a friend on facebook, and he still pays for her cell phone bill, granted the phone bill is all tied up with his and mine and it would cost him 300 to have it disconnected, but he makes good money and in the long run the phone bill would be cheaper. we are engaged, and we live with my mother at the moment, but its the smart thing to do so we can save to buy a house. im afraid he still loves her and is trying to keep contact with her, why are they not acting like most people who get divorced. you know mad at each other never talk to each other. i mean if i were her and someone did that to me i would never want to speak to him ever again. do you think its just the pregnancy hormones, thats making me think this way. i want to be wrong, and he told me there is nothing wrong with what he is doing that he has to pay her, and that he love me and only me. i have so much to lose he is such a great awesome guy, kind, sweet, attentive, and gives me everything i need and want. should i worry?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): Yes, you should worry. If mailing the check is an option, he needs to choose it. There's no reason he needs to meet up with her at her workplace twice a week, and there's no reason he should still be paying for her phone. Obviously you have a problem with that, or else you wouldn't have brought it up. If he really makes good money, as you said, he should be willing to shell out a little extra to disconnect you two from her. When you're talking about the long run, money should never take precedence over your relationship. He already got you pregnant and your mother is letting him live in her home. The least he could do is cut ties with his ex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): Hi, sorry honey but you reap what you sow. If I was the ex, I would be his best friend and also keep in touch, either because I love him and I shared a life time together or to show you how it feels. Also understand that when people divorce they dont forget the life they shared and if it was good, its not easy to forget.If she does not love him and trying to get him back then she is doing what you did to her. Yes you thought he was unhappy, she feels she knows him better and he will never be happy with you.Unfortunately you put yourself in this position and its not going to be an easy ride. You must remember irrespective of him telling you he was not happy in the marriage, he never did leave her until you came along. Any woman whose marriage was destroyed, will want justice served on the other woman as they never blame the man for being unfaithful especially if they still love him. So its not just your pregnancy hormones, it also about a woman that you caused a lot of heartache and she just may want him back and that is your real threat.If you hound him about her and the fact that he is doing things for her, you will be the one that looks bad as he also feels guilty about hurting his ex wife. If you want to hold onto him, stop complaining and let him deal with this how he sees fit. Maybe once the child come the ex will be a distant memory and he will focus on you and his kid.
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