A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We live together, have a puppy and were going to buy a house and get married next year.I just have a niggling suspicion that my boyfriend still has some feeling for his ex. Be it hate, longing or even just curiosity. He looks her up sometimes! We have argued about it in the past. She hurt him and he was angry about that and also she had a son that he missed too. I know some things remind him of her too that I do (sex wise) (he doesn't talk about her or anything like that by the way)So based on the fact that I know he loves me, wants a future with me. That I know his one aim is to live a life where he doesn't settle for anything less than he what he wants. Should I worry about him checking his ex on facebook (probably monthly). Feelings are ok? Like sometimes I miss certain things about my ex but I wouldn't want to get back with him!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (24 March 2014):
 I wouldn't worry about it. After a year and a half (at least; you don't say how long ago they last dated) it's probably just harmless curiosity at this point. If he isn't messaging her, doesn't bring her up in conversation, and is making concrete plans for a life and a future with YOU then it's safe to say he's moved on in all the ways that matter.
Best wishes as you start your life together :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2014): No he does not have feelings for her.
I look up my ex purely to gloat. I know it's not healthy but there you go.
I would never want to rekindle things. Nor do I care in any way.
Call it a bruised ego that's recovering.
Stop worrying about what reminds him of her. In a while those memories will be replaced by you. Just make sure you replace the old memories with good ones, not with awkward fumbling where you are trying not to be like his ex.
Be yourself, be confident and relax. He fell in love with you for who you are. If he wanted his ex, he'd still be with his ex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2014): Curiosity gets the best of everyone, doesn't always mean the feelings are still there. On the other hand, if he intends on building a life with you, and he knows it bothers you, then he should be mature enough to stop. It's facebook! It shouldn't be a big deal for him not to do it, and if it is, then he needs to deal with any unresolved issues and not drag you into it. Good Luck!
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