A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Before I come to my problem let me take you to its history. I was 11 and fell in love with 9 years old girl who happened to be orphan living in orphanage in front of our old house in our hometown. We would meet in the park and played there for hours. My parents brought her to our house and we moved to another city as dad had to start running his business there which has now well-established. So this girl and I remained in same house for like twenty years and two months back we got married. She , by all means now my parents’ daughter and daughter-in-law and possessing 50% of property along with me. My younger brother who, is 12 years old now, calls my wife Sister-Mom since he is brought up in my wife laps. With this brief history, I would like to come to my problem . Recently Dad extended his business to other city which is almost 80 miles away from here and told us - I mean me and my wife - to go there and start taking care of this new brunch of our company. I am ok with it but my wife started crying that she can’t imagine leaving her parents and son – I mean my parents and younger brother– alone . Also my younger brother created hell out of it saying that he wanted to move with us as he can’t live without his Sister-Mom. Last night, during discussion somehow I - unintentionally – uttered this idea that I would go there alone and my wife will help Dad in running his company here and on every weekend I would come here to spend time with my wife and other family members. My wife almost jumped and said yes. She said since we have been living together for 20 years , a little separation would make us bond even more. I love her like crazy and never been away from her even for a dam second. Is my idea would really make us bond more ? And also solve this complicated relationship triangular we have in the family? I am gonna miss her kiss and sweet talks and I know she’s doing this to help my parents’ in their old age as she always thinks they have done so much for her and she too cried last night that it would be really tough her to be here without me but told me that she and I have to make this little sacrifice to make everyone happy. What you guys think will it work?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): As someone with experience, no it doesnt make you closer. It makes your problems worse and both of you lonely... And harder to part again when you are together again. I was away from my fiance this past year for 6 months straight without seeing him once (he was across the country helping his family through a hard time).. it was VERY VERY hard. originally he was going to move away alone when he got back but we couldnt stand to be apart any longer so I went with him. I would imagine a situation such as yours would only be hard and stressful on both of you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): Distance does NOT make you closer emotionally.
What it does, is magnify the interpersonal problems if there are any.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 September 2011):
 It could work yes but it will be very hard work for the both of you. It sounds to me like she cares more for your family than she does you, but I guess it is her family as well which is fair enough. It sounds like you have a very complicated family life. I honestly think it would do you and your wife some good to have some time away on your own as a married couple should have. I don't think the distance will bond you together more, I actually feel that you will be miserable and lonely. Talk to her again and see how she would feel about coming with you and both of you travelling back at the weekend. You both need some time alone together as a couple.
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