A
male
age
36-40,
*owwhatdoido
writes:i dated a girl for about 2 1/2 years and we broke up about 3 months ago. we broke up because she found out that i had cheated on her. she asked me about it one day and i confessed everything. i know you are immediately thinking that i am an asshole and i need to move on. i get that. im looking for some other advice. i love her so much. when i was cheating on her i thought that i liked this new girl. i know youre thinking now, 'then how could you love your girlfriend?' i was confused and confusion is a crazy thing. i cant say that i knew where i was with my girlfriend at the time.i kind of freaked out, and this new girl came into my life and confused me about what i want. she was a cool girl and we had a good time. i think it was just the refreshing idea of someone else liking me and me enjoying the new idea of her that pulled me away, but who can say theyve never made a mistake before? i know now that it was only an infatuation and my true love was gone. i have seen her numerous times since we broke up. i have made so many attempts to get her back. she has gone out with me. she has kissed me. i bought her a ring and she took it and wore it around all day with me. but for some reason she keeps stepping back. i know she is scared and doesnt want to get hurt again, and i completely understand that, and im trying to give her space but i keep running into her when im out or somewhere and i cant not talk to her, and i then go back to square one, because i will try talking to her about us and the idea of giving it another chance. i know she still loves me, but is scared. im afraid if i walk away she wont come back. do i need to anyway? should i wait? please give me your opinion.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): hey, u need to slowly earn her trust back because like, u obviously made a huge mistake, but we r all human, and we all do stupid things, but understand, she maybe never trust or love you the way she used to. and if u dont win her back just right, there may never be a second chance. try to woo her and treat her like a lady, no, like a queen, and begin the relationship all over again, respect and communication is wat shee needs right now, talk to her about it, amd reassure her that u wont be that stupid ever again.
Well, hope all goes well!
Cheers!
A
female
reader, porkchop.xo  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 If that was the only time you ever cheated on her, then I think maybe she will give you another chance. But everyone is different and some will allow a person to cheat on them numerous times before leaving, others it takes once and they are gone forever. It's like the saying "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."
I think you need to rebuild that trust with her, it will take a very long time to do that i'm sure. To me it looks like you may be very appologetic, but in the eyes of a girl I would say, you went out and had your fun, and now you want her back because "your fun" isn't fun anymore.
Really you need to give her space, and don't keep bringing up the two of you getting back together everytime you see her. Try just having a regular conversation with her, and start to rebuild trust.
Hope everything works out for you :)
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A
female
reader, karenxxx  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Walk away. U will be doing her a favour and yrself as u will only cheat on her again. I am surprised that she even speaks to u. I know its not what u want to hear and im not saying it to be nasty truly im not but if u loved her u would not of done it in the first place. It would never work as the trust has gone and she will always remember what u did. Then again we are all different and i guess just because i would not forgive does not mean she wont but come on babes, ask yrself do u really love her or do u just want something because u cant have it? What was wrong in yr relationship that u had to go and sleep with another girl. U should of finished with her first. How long did u see this other girl for and did u sleep with her more than once?
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