A
female
age
41-50,
*atrina4134
writes:Ive been on an on and off relationship with a guy who has a crazy ex wife in which they have a child together. When we met it was supposed to be a no strings attacthed relationship but we slowly became boyfriend and girlfriend. After about 8mths of this he told me again that he still didnt want anything serious due to being emotionally in limbo because he was having a hard time dealing with his ex wife not allowing him to see his child. If she did it would be on her terms instead of the set weekend terms which were arranged. This obviously has upset him a lot and it upsets me to see him this distraught but it makes it difficult because he still wont let me spend time with him and the child when he does get to see him but wont think twice about taking the child to see friends or even people he is just about familiar with. This scenario has now lasted 2 and a half years were we have broken up and got back together again. He consistently talks about how much he hates her, talks about whats she's getting up to, what she used to get up whats she's wearing etc Also when asking up until now if he loved me he replied ' i like spending time with you, your a great laugh and your beautiful'! Am i beng dumb here or should i just put it to rest. I love him dearly and believe that it will be sorted out in the courts quite soon but deep down im thinking will this be never ending until the child grows up.
View related questions:
ex-wife, got back together, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cary1234 +, writes (1 December 2009):
Hello Katrina4134!
I am going to try and answer your question but have to refer to what I know about a similar situation!
I am the ex-wife (aka 'psycho-ex')of a man who, since we split, has made my life hell. We have a child together, and he has set out to ruin me, stating that he would do so. He is / has been with a woman he worked with since no doubt before we split. I aksed him to leave as he was not very nice to me and the kids. I havent had a relationship since we split and its nearly 2 years now. Why? because he has caused me such emotional distress I wont even go in to mainly since the split. However, after the initial hurt I have been trying to sort out my life, the life of my kids and our future. Anyway, to answer your question, My ex calls me a 'psycho', yet makes up the behaviour I am supposed to do. He has shown mutual friends 'texts' that I was suposed to have sent, which are rubbish. He has taken me to court unecessarily, has told his family (whom I was so close to before) lies upon lies about me. I am aware that anyone who will give him 5 mins, he plays the victim, and hates me with a passion. His gf has nothing to do with the children. This is where your email comes in. He called me stating that his relationship was not serious, that she was ok for 'now'. Now, any mum will state that they dont want thier kids having a string of 'aunts'. I emailed him to state that i had no problem with her helping out when it was his weekend to have our child when I thought he was serious with her (he had been with her over a year, after a year of us being together we were making wedding plans!)but he would maintain he didnt want 'her' having anything to do with our child. Yet, I hear that he has stated that he has said that I 'wouldnt allow it'. How dumb is that?! It is as if he wants me to be a certain 'behaviour' so he can play the victim.
What I am saying to you is, if I was to meet the right person, I would KNOW that it was right. If he had kids, I would find it strange if I didnt meet his child, emotional turmoil or not. I would find it strange that he held such a grudge, I would so find it strange that he hadnt moved on. Love is so very close to hate. I read somewhere that there are only TWO ways to find out what someone is really like: WHAT THEY SAY AND HOW THEY BEHAVE. Fine line. I URGE you to read this book: Why Does He do That? by Lundy Bancroft.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Hi im going from my experience which is a bit different i split with my bf of a year about 2 weeks ago as he was still in love his ex the mother of his child and he wanted to get back with her,she was consently texting or ringing him all the time and he was always talking about her,anyway after a few days of us spliting they got back together,and im still really hurt over it,
So basically all i can say is leave now before it gets worse, but really go with your feelings only you could make that choice, i wish i left when it started to bug me as i proberbly would not of got so hurt or so involved
...............................
|
