A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ohk this will be a bit long but i could really use some advice.... Back in the day i was really good friends with a girl, and i fell in love with her. I just acted like her friend though and didnt want to push our relationship any farther than friends because i wasnt sure if i really loved her. Her group of friends gradually split from mine and we rarely got to hang out anymore. We stopped talking completely after a while. And we didnt talk for three years. Fast forward to now, three years later (roughly). I have realized that i am completely in love with her, i was dating someone else but i dumped them for different reasons. I have come to realize that i truly love this girl and i decided that maybe i could get close to her again, so i wrote her a long note talking about the old days when we were friends and how much that meant to me, but i didnt bring up any hints that i had deeper feelings for her. She texted me the same day asking if i was serious, and then she agreed and said she would really like to be close friends again, and that i was one of her best friends back in the day, But now its been three days since i wrote the note and she texts me but only when i text her, she has not initiated any texting conversations, but she seems happy when i do text her and she texts back, i cant tell if she really wants to be close friends with me again or if shes just said yes because she doesnt want to say no. Keep in mind i can never stop thinking about this girl and its killing me not to text her more often, but i dont want to come off too strong because first we havent talked in forever and second she has a boyfriend and i dont want to seem interested in her that way while she has a BF, although i am interested in her. Im confused what to do... do i countinue to initiate texting her? do i try to take it a step further? do i just try to forget about her? Im just so confused as to what i should be doing, im in love with her and i have no idea what she thinks about me. I cant just tell her how i feel in a note because that could really hurt our friendship and i dont want to risk that. Her boyfriend is a senior though (we are juniors) and he will be gone by in summer, so do i pursue just a friendship now, and wait till he leaves to actually show signs. i guess what im asking for is what should i do next... sorry that was so long any advice is totally welcome and truly appreciated.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Keep on initiating those texts to her to show your interest in her. Do not take too long to show your intentions.
Ask her for a date and you can find out a lot of info from her about her life or b/f.This way , you will know where you stand with her.
After a few weeks or dates ,you should be more assertive and move to a higher level.
If you take too long and are too timid to move on a higher level.She will assume that you are not interested in her and will give you up.
Whether she has a b/f or not is immaterial . What is important is you need to give it a shot now . Do not fear rejections.
If she is not interested to be your b/f for now , you can still be friends with her and try later sometime in the near future when there is a vacancy sign.
A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 You shouldn't be waiting for her boyfriend to leave, to start something coz it doesn't necessarily mean they've ended it. Its only been three, days thats not really a long period of time and you can't expect everything to go back to how it was. I think you should tell her how you feel, coz honestly is all you want friendship or are you just using that to get closer to her. This way you can find out where you stand, but maybe wait until you get to know each other again, three years is a long time and she might have changed or a relationship with her maybe not what you expected.
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