A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been dating a guy for two months now. He is my first boyfriend, and I am a virgin. Things are going well, but sexual issues and Mum's beliefs in relationship outcomes are pressuring me. With regards to sex, he has been waiting for penetrative sex for two months. We have, in the meantime only played and hugged, kissed as I am not ready for full on sex. However, he is lacking the patience now and wants penetrative sex before we become more serious.In terms of Mum's opinions, she thinks I should date someone who is more financially secure and willing to be committed. David has a mortgage and a full time job but as he has recently split up from his ex, he is having to pay the full amount for all the bills (as they used to be halved). He constantly says he loves me but doesn't want to go heavy at this early stage, which is reasonable to me. Mum also says that him not greeting her when he comes round is a sign of disrespect and suggests he is not too keen on me. I have met his Mum once, my Mum says it is his tactic for making me feel 'welcome' and more willing to have sex with him.Do I follow Mum's advice and go for someone who is able to change my life? Or do I just have fun with him now and wait for the serious part to come naturally? How else can I tell his feelings for me apart from him waiting for penetrative sex with me? What does introducing me to his Mum actually mean? Is it correct that he doesn't respect me when he didn't greet my family upon arrival?Should I have a name on his mortgage if we live together or just share the bills? Please, please help! Thank you.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (20 August 2010):
If you have only been dating two months, I think it is WAY too soon to be talking about putting your name on his mortgage. Calm down and do what you want.
As someone who has a pushy mother, I know how difficult it can be to do something that they dont like. But you need to think about what you want, even if that differs to your mothers opinion.
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