A
female
age
30-35,
*xfatale
writes:I met a guy through a friend and we've been seeing each other for over 2 months. In the beginning, everything was great. We went out on dates, talked on the phone, texted eachother often, and he was really sweet. We went away to Niagara falls for 2 days over the holidays and he surprised me with 2 gifts. He opened up to me about his past relationship, and his family. I thought this trip would have brought us closer.However, I noticed after we came back, things changed. The communication decreased, we did not see eachother for 3 weeks. I confronted him through text about it and he basically said he gets attached to people easily and he has a lot of things going on in his life at the moment with work, family and financial problems. He's going away in late February on vacation and he told me he has to work and pay off his bills and save for the vacation.After that happened, we went to the movies and I spent the night at his house. The evening went well, he was sweet and affectionate. After I went home, a few days later things went back to the same thing. I sent him a text last week saying that I'm tired of the games and I'm done. He said he's been really busy with work, and he has a lot on his hands. We still text but it's not as often as before and he's not as lovey dovey. I just don't know what to make of this situation. In the beginning he told me he wants me to be his girlfriend eventually. Now, I have no idea where I stand with him. I really like him but I don't want to waste my time. Should I end it? Or wait it out?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2018):
 Honestly it doesn't sound like this guy is looking for a long term relationship with you. If he has lost interest already then that is not a good sign. At the start all was going well and he took you away for a couple off days. Great it all sounds well until afterwards he doesn't meet up with you for three weeks. It sounds to me like it fizzled out for him. I don't want to sound harsh but no matter how busy he is he would make time for you if he wanted to. He is making up lots off excuses as he doesn't want to tell you the truth. Even if he doesn't have much money he can still meet up with you for a coffee or invite you over for lunch. I really don't buy his excuses at all.
It sounds like all is well when you stay over but then he goes back to being distant. It could be he is wanting a part time girlfriend, but more than likely it is he gets what he wants from you but doesn't want to put in the effort. You are worth more than being a hook up. Sorry but you are wasting your time with him, your best bet is to end it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2018): He doesn't have the balls to tell you the truth. So, his actions are speaking volumes.
He doesn't want a relationship.
He doesn't mind hooking up and some occasional good times but he doesn't want a steady girlfriend. The fact he even said he'd like a girlfriend eventually - whether it's you or someone else - means exactly how he said it. Don't twist his words to suit your own wishful thinking.
He doesn't want to be tied down. He's giving you all kinds of excuses.
Sorry, but if a guy is telling you he's busy at work and he is saving up for a vacation that doesn't include you, I wouldn't be sticking around.
Even if he started out thinking he could warm up to the idea of having a girlfriend, somewhere along the line he changed his mind.
If I were you, I'd stop contact. See if he up's his game. But even if he does start to make more of an effort, it will be temporary until he gets cold feet again.
Why waste your time on someone like this?
Better to cut him loose now before your emotions get too involved.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 February 2018):
 Why "wait it out"?
He could BARELY sustain interest for 2 months! Being busy with work is fine but that doesn't mean you can't call someone a couple of times a week or shoot a text or two every day, I mean really...
His priority is his upcoming vacation and saving up for that - which again is FINE (who doesn't need a vacations!?) but to start seeing you, having a romantic 2 days to the Falls and then not bother really for 3 weeks?
This will become a pattern. You can either accept that this is what he is willing to OFFER you or you can stop wasting your time on a guy who isn't looking for a full time GF, just someone to spend time with here and there.
Sorry.
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