A
male
age
36-40,
*lbambino
writes:ok....i have been seeing this girl, everything seems fine but the re is one problem, HER EX, she still has feelings for him it seems (he is a really needy dude who will make up any excuse to speak to her including lying about me) i told her through a text to take some time to reconsider and decide what does she want to do, either stay with her ex or get over him and then call me back, the same day she was arrested due to something she had nothing to do with and was kept in jail for 3 weeks until the whole process was done, within those three weeks i was the person who sent a bailbonds agent and was willing to put up all the money, i was the only one to write to her and the only one to be asking about her on almost a daily basis, now....when she got out she called me twice within a week, once that same day late at night and the other to ask me wether or not i told her ex that we were seeing each other because he had called her and said that and the rest of that time she kinda blew me off...(please keep in mind that throughout this whole time after she got out i had not seen her but it seemed like everyone else did and i was really stressed out by the my cousin being murdered which added to it) so i called her and returned her pictures and something i had of hers and told her why i did it and she seemed really upset though she wouldnt try to show it....now my question is should i call back and explain why i acted like that (due to my stress)?, should i wait a couple of days to stand my ground and show her that im not needy or clingy? its been a day now, should i call tonight? in a way she is a very nice girl but she threw me overboard with that one....but could it have just been me getting stressed out about my current situation and took it out on her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): You did her a big favour when she was in jail, and really do have a good heart. Why does it concern her if you told her ex about you and her? She should have moved on by now, and if she still talks to her ex, then she still has not gotten over him. The first person or at least when she got she should have seen was you. It doesn't seem like you are a priority with her. So I think something isn't right here and it has nothing to do with you. She still has feelings for that guy and doesn't want the other guy to know about you? What else is there to hide or lie about? This is not your battle, and she is the one who has to decide who she wants to be with. You have said that yourself, and it seems like she has not made up her mind. You cannot sit around and wait for her forever, so let her be the one to call you and you can take it from there. If you want, call her to let her know what you feel, but you have nothing to apologize for as you did so much for her and it doesn't look like she appreciates you for doing that. She needs to deal with her ex and there is not much you can do, except to see if she comes around. If she doesn't, it will be her loss and you will have to move on. You deserve better then that and she should give you more respect.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Were you two together for a long time? It's tough to respond (from hurt) and then kind of pull it back (how do we do it). I would myself just leave her a message (sounding confident and strong saying you are sorry for reacting the way you did, but you felt slighted/hurt and it is what it is, but for what it is worth you only want the best for her and care about her --- if you want to talk give me a call sometime but either way I truly wish you the best. And then play off of that (no response ----- move on); if she responds, just take it from there.
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