Should I visit him and see where our love stands?

A female age , anonymous writes:

i need help to move on. a childhood friend who courted me since i was 15yrs to 18yrs til i left for canada had reconnected jan 2008. i was still married but seriously seeking a divorce because of abuse and mental cruelty. while husband was on a holiday in the philippines, this friend of mine (also divorced in american terms-wife divorced him from usa as she went with her hubby's best friend) fell in love once again with me and i,fell for him this time very seriously. in the philippines divorce is not allowed and annulment of marriage is extremely expensive that the rich are the only ones that can afford it therefore my friend was considered still married even when he was holding a divorce certificate. we fell in love and we totally were at peace with each other but something happenned. we became very intimate and but because i was not officially divorced he thought it was wise to give our relation time. i returned back to canada after seeing him for 5weeks and a few months after i returned, he called to say that no longer was i a priority and that God now was his priority and that it'd be 2-3years before he actually becomes a pastor in his church. i didn't know and he didn't know his elders in chruch were grooming him for pastorhood. i was devastated but being a Catholic Christian believer I thought at the end it was wonderful-his calling. He mentionned thought his church doesnot allow Catholic divorcees to be married to their pastors let alone catholics in their church. pained and shocked i went to the philippines a 2nd time to find out whether the love was still there. he really didn;t want me to go a 2nd time but i needed to accompany my son for a hiphop stint on tv. my friend met my sons and i met his family. we're so in love when we're together and very happy and i call him my soulmate. when i returned to canada,after a month he was a complete stranger..or whether he's hiding his true feelings as he may be caught by his church and fired which he feared i think greatly so we have not communicated since may 5 2009 and last spoke oct01 09 and he was very formal and didnot utter a word of love. again i was devastated.he always has churchmembers with him and this is 1reason why he doesn't answer my cell calls but he doesn't answermy calls to his home either. in his last email to me he was very upset as i asked his sister andsis-in-law if they've seen him around or with a new woman and he was extremely upset accusing me that i was nosing on his privacy. he ended our communication but he ended his email with these words...remember, you are forever here in my heart but i think this not yet the right time. goodbye for now but not forever.please forgive me and God bless us. and that's all i have hung on to. he loved me greatly since i was 15 and then still loved me at 53yrs old and seems to want to give our love a chance but he chose pastorhood as he needs a steady income and his sons and grandchildren are still dpendent on him. he tried to come to visit me this year through usa as he was going to attend his son's grad from cornell but he was denied a visa and that made him think that it wasnot God's will that we see each other and i really don't know if he's given up. his maids have told me my picture with him sits on his bedside table. often thought he sleeps outside-in church at his other house at his sister's but no one really knows. i want to know the truth but i don't want to "nose" around. please advice me as he was the only man i fully trusted in my life. he was terribly hurt with his broken marriage and was suicidal but when he found the Lord, his life was renewed and he find some happinnes and learned to slowly accept what was left to him-to care for his 3 boys whom he loved so much. is it worth visiting him and facing him with my questions as to where our lvoe stands? thanks for your time. monina

View related questions: best friend, christian, divorce, fell in love, move on, soulmate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009):

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