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Should I use my dads inheritance to help my girlfriend out of her financial problems??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 May 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

okay here it goes, my girlfriend's mom and step dad (well he was the moms boyfriend for like 16 years and they never got married so thats what they called him "dad") are seperating so they had to move out togther in some low imcome apartments. It's four people in a three bed room apartment. The mom has two kids with the man she is seperating from and not to be mean but she has no career. Anyways to make it even worse my girlfriend makes okay $9.50 and hour and has a crap load of bills, her credit card bill is 1300 dollars and the interest is 20% witch means 20 dollars get added every month. She puts 100 dollars towards it every month and she is stressing out over it a lot. After all her bills she will only have $200 dollars for a whole month for spending money. To make this even worse I have money my dad left me when he died that she isn't suppose to know about but one day i had a lot of money out of no wear to pay for a trip i went on like a year ago and she asked me where i got the money from and i wouldn't tell her because my mom never told me never to tell anyone about it because if people know you have money they feel like they could ask you for a loan or something and i finnaly I told my girlfriend a year ago about my money because she was getting all crazy and everything but i do love her and i been with her for two years now and im only 20 years old and she is asking me for the 1300 and just paying me back 100 dollars a month but there just wont be any interest. We love eachother with all our hearts but we get in a lot of fights and we broke up twice in our (four days from now) two year aniversiry, also if my mom found out i loaned my girlfriend 1300 and she isn't even suppose to know about it i going to get it from her. My question to you is knowing all of what you have read would you loan your girlfriend 1300, if anyone has any advise please please give me your thoughts? Thanks

-bobby

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2006):

Don't give her the money. Help her figure out a monthly budget to help her pay down her debt instead.

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (11 May 2006):

bonym agony auntNo, you shouldn't give her the money to sort out her financial woes. My friend I am not a selfish person and I don believe in helping those in "need" but this is your fathers inheritance, it should not be used to bail out your girlfriend. My friend, if you want to know what debt is, then I am the Queen of Debt!! I am sure your girlfriend will work things out and she will be able to afford the repayments, dont use this money to bail her out, its an inheritance. Use it wisely. xXx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2006):

Hi Bobby

I don't think you should give her the money.

First, although she is in debt, and in a lower paid job, it does not mean she is not able to get rid of that debt. If she managed her money well, she could get out of debt. She would then value money a lot more and possibily not get in to debt again.

Second, it is your dad's inheritance. What would he want you to spend this money on? I'm guessing it would be to go towards YOUR future. NOT to help your girlfriend.

Third, your girlfriend is wrong to ask you for your dad's inheritance money. Would you ask your girlfriend if the situation were reversed?

Fourth, your relationship doesn't sound strong enough to commit to this sort of financial agreement. There is a possibility that you could break up. If you break up after a fight, are you sure she would continue paying you? Would you be happy to loose this $1300?

I think you should keep this money safe and NOT let her ask you for it. If you really want to help her financially, either support her in managing her money better, or lend her money from your own income (if you have any). But don't risk giving what your dad worked hard for just to help this girl out of her financial problems.

Hope this helps bobby. :)

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