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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: My best friend's uncle is making me feel uncomfortable. He is an older unemployed man who might be in his late 30s. Everytime I go to my friend's house he calls me names like "my baby, sweetie" which he normally does not use with any of the females he lives with. He recently asked me if I don't mind visiting him? I told him that I mind because I only visit my friends then I left the room and called my friend who was busy outside. The day before that he told me that I look "fresh". He makes sure I feel his presence by calling me and asking me rhetorical questions or greet me over and over again. It makes me super uncomfortable so I told my friend that her uncle makes me feel uncomfortable every time I visit. She got upset but tried so hard not to show it and told me that that's just how he is. I told her that "ohk. I was not aware but let's just hope this is not the last time I visit." Then she walked me halfway home then we hugged it out and said our goodbyes. That was the last time I heard from her on January 5th 2017. I got home that day, she had blocked me from WhatsApp which is the only messenger we use since I deleted Facebook. I tried calling her, her number is off. I don't know what to do, I am upset and confused at the same time. I told my boyfriend he told me to leave her alone she was clearly not a true friend if she got upset and maybe she had planned all that with her uncle. I need more sincere opinions and I think here is the right place to find one. I thought of visiting her but I am scared I might not be welcomed at her house anymore.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 January 2017):
 Honey I think she knows her uncle is dodgy she is highly embarrassed about it so she chooses to ignore it. Yes your boyfriend is right in she is not a great friend, but who knows her uncle may have treated her bad? That is what I would be worried about, with her attitude I would be scared her uncle may have done wrong by her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2017): Thanks for your sincere opinions. WiseOwl, I went to her and not to her uncle because part of it was that I was hoping for advice from her on how to confront her uncle in a manner that he can understand. I think if I went straight to talk to her uncle without asking her first, things would have gotten worse. To me the truth is what I stand for even if I didn't I would at least give both sides to tell their story, in my case she chose the easy way out and vanished.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2017): I agree with your boyfriend to some extent. It doesn't necessarily mean she is not a true friend; because she may be totally embarrassed.
Family comes first. She may be protecting you both from each other. She has a right to defend her uncle; and she has the right to remove you from the situation, if he has made inappropriate passes. It is better than causing a scene, and blowing things out of proportion. So far, it was only flirting and hasn't escalated to anything worse.
Let her make the first move. You were being honest, and you don't have to tolerate "his ways," if you feel they are inappropriate and make you feel uneasy. She needs time to confront her uncle, hear his side; or decide if it would be wise to allow him around you. I think she deserves that much of the benefit of the doubt. She's not the one who offended you.
I'm sorry to say, but if a situation comes down to choosing blood-kin to a friend; I'd protect the relative, as long as there was no criminal violation involved. You could have just as easily asked him to quit flirting and spoke outright about how it made you feel. You didn't, you took it to your friend instead. So what was she to do?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 January 2017):
 I think your BF is right as well.
She has a creepy uncle, who hits on her friend and her take on it? "that is just how he is"? Seriously?
Of course, she may not like that you criticized her family member, but anyone with eyes in their heads would have thought that was being super creepy. "will you come visit me..." WTF? And if that means she no longer wants to be friends then, by all means, LET HER GO.
Don't stop by, don't chase after her.
I don't think she had it all planned with her uncle either if she did she wouldn't have gotten so mad.
I think she is SUPER embarrassed and it was easier to cut you off instead of saying, yes my uncle is a creepy loser who likes to him on young girls. Eww...
I think you did the right thing in telling her it made you uncomfortable because THAT is the truth. Whether she liked to hear the truth or not.
Let her go. Maybe she will get over it in time, maybe she won't. THAT is up to her. In the meantime make new friends.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (13 January 2017):
 I agree with your boyfriend that she's not a true friend if she reacted that way. Her uncle makes you feel u comfortable, that's not your fault. You did the right thing in telling her and she massively overreacted to it. I don't however believe that your ex friend and her uncle did this as a way to get rid of you, that just sounds a bit silly.
Just leave her be, you tried to solve the problem with her uncle by informing her of how you feel and she decided to remove you from her life. Respect her decision and hang out with better friends I'd say.
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