A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I hope that terms i used are not too explicit, just to make it clearer.I've been with my boyfriend for longer than a year now. We have a long distance relationship.We've never had a couple before, so we took things a bit slow (we were friends long before dating), and we lose virgnity together (me on top).He's not been active sexually before (for what he told me), and so, he never complaint it hurt or something, (but i'd said he felt a bit uncomfortable the first time i HJ him).When i went to BJ him for first time i noticied he had phimosis. So i told him (he even didn't knew what it was).{Moderator note: an abnormal tightness of the foreskin preventing retraction over the glans}Shall i help him with that, or not?Cause when we be intimate he never complains it hurts, but i fear he won't enjoy intimacy as much as is suppoused to, or that it can be painful for him, or he ends seeing intimacy as something negative and not satisfying, and so he would end avoiding it.I'll be willing to help him (i've read a bit about it, methods to fix it doing stretching exercises, with not going on surgery), and he'll be willing to let me try, and in fact he did let me do a bit when i BJ him, so it can pull more or less to the middle of the head, but then comes the frenulum and i fear it tears.I noticied that since then he enjoyed intimacy more and last longer, as seems is more sensitive there.shall i help him to try to fix it, or not?how can i help him better?what's is the good/bad if it get fixed?and what the good/bad if it keeps as it is?thanks in advance.
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male
reader, Moonknight  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 Hmm, i see that you are both worried about a surgical treatment, i do believe this is the best way, and i would ignore the fact that some people have had bad experience with surgical treatments, that is the same as with anything else, it can go wrong no matter what you do.
These treatments have been around for a very long time and it is a well understood issue in the medical world. If you was to do it i don't think one week every 2 months is enough, it's giving time for the skin to heal and ecover and this may cause it to develop an unwanted area of skin.
It doesn't sound like your boyfriend understand it very well, so please take him to a doctor, a doctor can asscess his case the best and give the best form of treatment, may it be surgical or not.
A HJ is too brutal for this. if he does choose to not have surgery he will be left will an excess of foreskin, so please see a medical professional.
I had a family member who had something like this... although he was a young boy, the doctor prescribed some cream that didn't take very long to fix it. but he was a boy... so a grown man is totally different
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): Thanks for your advice Moonknight. I have some more questions.so, how can i help him? (not using a cream as is for kids, will some lube help? )strecthing methods, as i've read on similar questions on this site? like for 10 minutes every day for 2 months, or so i've read -may i'm too bad, but that's almost like a HJ, right? That is how i do it, almost daily the times we can be together -and i think he thinks i'm obsessed with his privates for that, but i do it for him mostly.Is this be obsessed with his privates, or just that i care much about him, (even about his health)?how i can do it to not tear it badly? (i fear frenuluum tears and bleed or something).could he regret it later? (i've read many guys that go on surgery regret it later, and that's what we are trying to avoid, but anyways, could he regret it?).how long it may take? around 2 months as i've read? but seeing that we see each other for a week each 2 months or so, will it take longer?One problem with it is he doesn't touch (masturbate)-he wants to keep all pure to me, plus on his teens only tried that like 3 times and never did it again (i think that's cause back then it hurted him, in fact when i HJ him he said he never did it that way before)-, so if i don't do it he won't fix the problem (because that's a problem which can get worst, right?), and if i don't do it, when we be intimate again (we use protection and lube) i'll think it's hurting him and so he is not enjoying it, although he says he does loves it. (so imagine it when we'll do it with not lube and protection and it had not been fixed by then, it'll be a nightmare for him, right?, could that be the reason why he tries to avoid to be on top when we have intercourse?).shall i advice him to touch self? (he doesn't want to do it for what i've said, he thinks that's failing me or something).Shall we not have sex (intercourse) until it be fixed?
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A
male
reader, Moonknight +, writes (3 October 2010):
You should help him, when he isn't even aware that his case if not normal for an adult he surely needs some help, i wouldn't suggest none surgical methods as a tear in the foreskin can deform the looks of his penis.
With rougher sex the foreskin will start to hurt alot more, and not being able to properly wash his penis will lead to bad smell and possible infection.
The older he gets the harder it becomes, and more painful, even though he says it doesn't hurt, take it from a male's point, he is just saying that.
It needs to be fixed he is at risk badly, there will be much more pleasure once it is fixed.
I'm uncircumsized and when i was young, trust me it hurts... luckly for me it happened naturally when i was young, so i had no problems, now i have a very normal foreskin.
So please help him, it's past the point already where nature will not fix it. there are creams you can get but i wouldn't suggest them for an adult.
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