A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hiya my name is Ruby and I am 22. I've been single for just over a year and a half now and i think i may of fell in love (which sounds fantastic but it's a bit more difficult that that!) I met the most amazing guy last July as soon as I saw him I just thought wow he's hot! So my sister introduces him and yes he's her fiancée’s brother. He flirted with me all night and we just clicked I mean it's so rare to meet someone you feel that spark with right? I tried really hard though not to succumb to his flirting. So this became a regular occurrence we flirted and kissed a few times but nothing more, because he had a girlfriend. Anyway I tried to move on but it won't work because I know he's the one I want, and fate always seems to bring us together. I saw him a few weeks ago on a night out (after not seeing him for a while) and we couldn't get enough of each other (he's split up with his girlfriend) we just sat in the beer garden and talked for ages it was like nothing else existed. I went back to his house (I told him I couldn't sleep with him as I had my period) and he said he still wanted me to come back we just kissed and cuddled all night and talked. I told him I was confused and asked him how he felt and he said he would never let anyone hurt me and that he had loved me since the first time he met me. The next day he gave me a lift home I didn't ask him for his mobile number and I don't think I really told him how I feel about him. What should I do I don't know when I’ll see him again, how my sister would react if we got together (although I think she would be happy for me!) I don't want to let it go and loose something special but I am scared of getting hurt. Would appreciate your help!! Thanks X
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2007): Well, Ruby, congrats on finding a man you really like and who seems to like you.
I understand you not wanting to get hurt, and I think your instincts are telling you to be cautious with this guy. One thing you said really bothered me is that he was kissing and flirting with you while he had a girlfriend....he may be a bit of a player. Just because a guy is a good flirt does not mean that he is madly in love with you, but may be madly in love with himself.
Furthermore, he just broke up with his girlfriend and already he is making out with you....realize that he is on the rebound, and you don't want to be his rebound relationship because they rarerly last.
If you really like him though, tell him so, but tell him you want to take things slowly and get to know each other a little better....be friends first, and allow him to become attached to you. Withhold sex for a long while and then you will know when he wants to be commited to you for you.....I hope things work out for you.
We can't protect ourselves all of the time from getting hurt. Let yourself like him and enjoy his company, just try to be smart and don't let him take advantage of you. Demand his respect and you will win his heart, trust me, you will be different than the rest of the girls if you do that one thing.
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