A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Lets not kid anyone here, I think I am in love with my married female colleague, and have been for some time. It started out as just an attraction (both ways) but I never really gave her too much thought. She one day started initiating conversation and it continued from there, to the point where we would see each other and talk to each other most days (during the working week). I grew to have feelings for her, where it got to the point where i cant get her out of my mind. We no longer work on the same floor (she was moved but are in the same building), and we very rarely see each other any more, but that hasnt stopped me thinking of her all the time and I've wanted to go to her floor and talk to her, but have been a bit hesitant for fear of not wanting to 'harass her' or annoy her.So communication between us has all but stopped..What i was thinking of doing, without telling her outright that I love her, was to try and talk to her with a view to trying to restore things to where they were, ie friendly work colleagues (thats the best I can hope for I think, I dont expect her to leave her husband any time soon). I think that the friendship is worth saving, and no, it wasnt just a 'one sided' thing.I suspect that to a point she is quite old fashioned and had been waiting for me to make contact with her, and as I havent, thinks I'm no longer interested (Note when i have seen her she hasnt been that friendly)Do you think it is a good idea, or should I try to forget her (as hard as that will be), unless she iniates contact with me again herself? (This is not likely as its been quite a few weeks)Thanks for your help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell this has become a bit of a diary, and a couple of weeks later, and once in that period i did approach her and we had a nice discussion at her desk. She was friendly and polite, but subsequent communication (including email initiated by me ) since then hasnt been particularly friendly, at least not from her. Although it hurts your advice about trying to be friends being a very bad idea and to not persue it is the only real option and to try and make something out of nothing will be a waste of time.
I'm still very disappointed though that the friendly times we did have didnt last, but I guess that's life :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 July 2011):
 Your very welcome :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank tou Aunt Honesty, you have made some very good points there :)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (14 July 2011):
If am honest I think you should try and forget about her. I know how hard that will be, but there is no concrete proof here that she ever thought of you as more than a friend and work and now she has moved department she has made new friends and moved on. If you where to tell her how you feel it would cause a lot of tension between you both, because as you said she is married, and do you really want to be caught up in something like that. She belongs to another man and she is taking you need to accept that.
Am sure you could resort to trying to be friends with her but if you are falling in love with her, then it is a very bad idea. Because you will only hurt yourself in the long run. Move on now while you can.
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