A
male
age
26-29,
*azedandFrustrated
writes:Dear Cupid,Please tell me what i should do. Me and this girl met last year and have been really close until September which was when she got a boyfriend. Anyway we could talk about anything and everything and openly flirted. We were well past the point where nothing was awkward between us anymore and we talked almost everyday. However September rolls around and one of my friends meets her at a football game while we were hanging out. He tries to flirt with her all game and gives ger a hug when its over. The next day he asks if i like her and i said no because i thought she liked him and i didnt want to complicate things. When he told her i didnt like her she was hurt because she really liked me although i didnt know she was serious avout me. By then though the damage was done and she decided to give my friend a chance and date him. After two months of awkward conversation in the 'friend zone' i finally told her that i loved and to my suprise she said she loved me too and only agreed to date my friend because she heard i didnt like her. However she doesnt want to break up with my friend even though shes not totally happy because he treats her right and she feels like she would betray him if she broke up with him. I then told her that i couldnt keep talking to her as just a friend everyday and said goodbye. However i did say that i would always be there for her and if she ever needed me she could come to me. Im just wondering if i made the right choice, if i should go back to being friends on a regular basis, or if i should try to break her up with her boyfriend so we can be together. Sorry it was so long i just wanted to give all the details so you could fully understand. Thanks
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male
reader, DazedandFrustrated +, writes (25 December 2011):
DazedandFrustrated is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much I'll give it a shot and hope for the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2011): No you shouldn't try and break her and her boyfriend up! If you can't handle being just friends with her then yes you made the right choice for you by ending the friendship for now. The best way to deal with this, is to respect that she is not ready to end her relationship with him, if your meant to be with her you will be. I had this situation a few years ago with a man, He wasn't sure that I was serious about him, and he started a relationship with someone else. I couldn't be just friends with him at the time, and was honest with him and lost contact with him. Last year I found him again, and contacted him, we talked for a long while, and now we have been in a happy relationship for just over aa year. Maybe the time for you and her is not right at the moment. Breaking her up with her boyfriend is not the way to go about this, respecting her decision is the way to handle this, you have done the right thing, I know it's hard but for now it's all you can do. Good Luck and Merry Christmas.
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