A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my friend. I have been for the last 8 months, and my feelings are just getting stronger. My problem is whether i should or not. i told him 6 months ago that i liked him more then a friend. And he said that depsite me being amazingly attractive (including wanting to rip my clothes off.), that he doesn't think we have enough in common to make it in to something more. (So i told him i was just joking.)How ever i disagree. We like most the same bands. We both like fishing and camping. And we both don't really drink either. His 27 and the nicest guy and i dont want to lose him as a friend i he doesn't feel the same. so should i tell him?? And how?? By txt, letter of fb or in person? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (1 March 2013):
What would you accomplish by telling him something he already knows? Nobody is naive enough to believe that you were just joking when you told him.
I believe that although he may be attracted to you and you may have a lot in common he may just think that you wouldn't be a good fit.
I had a friend like that... I was attracted to her and I enjoyed spending time with her, and we had a lot in common as well. But there was more to it... In her basic nature she was wrong for me, and I knew her well enough to know that we wouldn't have lasted long together.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): I don't mean to be blunt, but he said what he did to be nice. If he was that attracted to you physically he'd have acted on it.
You are squarely in the friend zone, and if you keep bringing up the unrequited attraction you have for this guy he may find it too awkward to stay friends with you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 March 2013):
 No, if he already told you he really isn't into you in THAT way, no matter HOW much or how OFTEN you ask, he won't change his mind.
He knows you weren't joking when you told him 6 months ago, he isn't that dense (I hope) and he has done nothing to imply that he has changed his mind these last 6 months and that he actually would like you "date" you, so I really wouldn't be put myself out there again, because you will get shot down and lose a friend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): "And he said that despite me being amazingly attractive (including wanting to rip my clothes off.), that he doesn't think we have enough in common to make it in to something more."
Sorry OP, I think you took him too literally there. That was just a gentle let down because he's not actually interested in you that way.
If he wanted to rip your clothes off he would have done so when you offered yourself up to him on a plate. If he was interested in something more he would have went for it with you. Do you really think even he believed his "not much in common" thing? OP you're friends, you have lots in common so he was just letting you down gently. He knows you like him regardless of you attempt to cover it up as a joke and since then has made no attempt to woo you or get you.
By all means tell him how you feel, get your closure but I wouldn't get your hopes up. You may think just because you see loads of things that you have in common the issue is no longer valid. The simple truth is it was never valid anyway he was just not interested.
Invite him for coffee and talk about it face to face OP. Much better to see the truth when someone is sitting there in front of you.
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