A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:This girl i know used to be really close to me.She was in an argument that she started with one of my other friends and i was stuck in the middle not knowing what to do. She said that i had to choose who's side to be on, her's or the other girl and i said i didn't want to choose sides and she switched on me and stopped speaking to me.Now we hardly speak and when we do she is just rude.It's like she doesnt have anything nice to say to me or about me anymore.She's really changed over these past months, and her attitude is really bad, i just dont know what to do.I didn't want us to loose the friendship we had but it looks like she has already made that decision herself.Should I try and talk to her and sort things out or just leave her? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, courage59  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 It's too bad your friend asks you to take side in the midst of an argument with another of your friend.
Unfortunately, most people think like an old arab proverb:
'The ennemy of my ennemy is my friend'...as it seems she insists that you must think like her. A real friend is someone who will respect that you may keep silent or have a different opinion than her/him.
The only main purpose of communication is to understand what the other means, and not to win the other to one's opinion. It takes a whole life sometimes to realize that the more democratic a relationship is, the more happiness it brings. It is ok to have a different point of view.
Good luck and try not to give in this manipulation or conditional aspect to friendship. It is also good that you can now explain to her your views regardless of her attitude. At least you can be sure she will know that you stood up for a principle or a value rather than an entangling feeling of disappointment.
I would just ask her if you can talk to her at a convenient time for both and explain her how you feel after punishing you with a cold shoulder. It seems that you would not request from a friend the same she asked of you as you feel you were forced into something you do not believe in, taking side.
All the best,
courage59
A
female
reader, Lifesgood4  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Talking to her and seeing her view on the situation would help but also ask her to listen to your view. It's only fair for her to listen to what you have to say just as it is for you to listen to her. Explain to her why you don't want to choose sides and explain how much she means to you so you don't loose her.
Good luck
...............................
|
