A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I posted earlier and now wanted to ask a more general question. I've been seeing someone for two months (not exclusive yet). So far he's initiated good morning text every day and sometimes other messages throughout the day. Right now he's on vacation in another city. He's traveling alone and meeting old friends, and has an interview tomorrow, otherwise purely leisure. He hasn't said anything since telling me he landed. It's been three days. I understand it's early in the relationship and I shouldn't expect anything. I'm just disappointed in the sudden change in communication style because before these three days, he's reached out every day. And most of all, because he's been posting statuses and comments on Facebook. Should I text him good luck on his interview tomorrow? Or leave him alone? I feel he's lost interest. Tomorrow's interview means a lot to him and I want express that I care but I'm worried about coming off as clingy. Is no contact during vacation normal?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2016): To Female Anon,
Not all men are the same.
Some may seek support.
Some may be more inward about it and not like to show they are nervous or worried.
Just different personalities. And different places in a relationship.
Nothing to do with how they feel about their girlfriend.
It might be weird if YOUR boyfriend did not contact you given that that is the WAY HE IS.
Also, this relationship is very new and not yet exclusive. So the level of intimacy is obviously greater in yours. Theirs needs more time to build and grow.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2016): I don't know about all guys, but my boyfriend has an interview tomorrow too and for the past few days he calls me non stop for support and needs me to walk through the interview process with him. I'm not sure why your boyfriend won't call you to seek your support. Seems weird.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): I can see your point. And no, you are not clingy for how you feel and what your own expectations are in a relationship. That is the way you are and that is the way you feel. No apologies or explanations necessary. It is just the truth. You care about this guy. Nothing wrong with that.There are no hard and fast rules. Two months in or two years in, the actions of others should still be rooted in thoughtfulness and common courtesy.I understand that his change in communication style worries you. It is a change from the norm so of course your mind goes to the lost interest scenario. That is normal. But what it also normal is he is on vacation and busy. And communication styles often change when people are on vacation. And there could be many reasons for his not communicating as often as you'd like. None of which have anything to do with losing interest. It is still a little premature to think this. But he did contact you to tell you he landed which I think is a very good sign.I see nothing wrong with sending him a message and wishing him good luck on his interview and just letting him know simply "I am thinking of you." That is all. Be brief and concise. There is never anything wrong with expressing your feelings. And it does not come across as clingy if you only send a quick message. But then you will need to leave it in his court. I would just say... "Thinking of you. Hope you are enjoying your vacation. Wishing you the best of luck on your interview tomorrow." Something like that.Then wait for him to respond and see what he says. And go from there.My BF goes away often. He is usually in touch everyday. But sometimes a day or two goes by. That's okay too. I would not worry about it too much right now. If he stops contacting you altogether, does not respond to your message or worse yet, comes back and does not contact you, then you should worry. Until then, try not to assume the worst.His every action is not necessarily a reflection on you or how he feels about you. But we tend to make things into something they aren't. Especially when they are far away and we have no idea what they are doing. So we feel even more of a disconnect. And fyi, if he was not contacting you at all or enough, it would not be clingy of you to want to contact him. You are concerned and care about him. So just try to relax. Keep yourself busy and he will return in no time. I do suggest sending him a quick thinking of you and good luck message. I think it will also make you feel better. And I am sure he will respond.Hope this helps. :)
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A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (5 June 2016):
I think sending him a quick little text saying "Hey, I just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. No biggie, just wanted to send this", or something like that in your own words.I think leave him alone after that, and wait till he gets home. It might just be his phone plan, which makes him pay through the nose for long distance texts. Mine does. But who knows. I wouldn't read anything into it, until you talk to him when he gets back. You just don't know why, so don't get worried until you know. It sucks a bit for now, but sometimes guys are just wired different when it comes to these things. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): Wish him luck for his interview tomorrow and i'm sure he will message you back. On vacations it's hard to say but if he isn't as busy, he will make time for you.
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