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male
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anonymous
writes: I've known this girl called Sarah for 4 or 5 years. She fell for me almost as soon as she met me but I wasn't interested as I was still trying to come to terms with my first girlfriend and lover (Jenny) dying in a horrific car crash. I resented Sarah's advances as an effort to replace Jenny, I spurned her repeatedly, I’m ashamed to say I was quite cruel sometimes and made her miserable, and never explained to her why as it was too painful to talk about. It took me about 2 years to fully get over it by which time I'd known Sarah for 3 years. As I got over Jenny, Sarah was still there wanting me to be hers, I was very hesitant to start up another relationship, even after so long, but I started flirting with Sarah, we went out a few times and towards the end of last year we kissed a few times but we never talked about being boyfriend and girlfriend. I knew I was going to be moving away from the area and would only be back at weekends when I got a car which seemed another barrier for Sarah and I, so I didn’t want to start anything, I’d already had my heart broken I didn’t want it happening again so soon if we found 2 days a week weren’t enough and broke up.So, September last year, I moved out of my parent’s house, away from Sarah and the rest of my friends and family. After a couple of months I found myself thinking of Sarah more and more. I went out with her a few more times after I got my car, but it didn’t seem the same. Sarah has said she doesn’t like me any more, I’m not sure if means it. I’ve mentioned it to one of her friends who says she doesn’t know. I tried to get away from thinking of her by getting other girlfriends but none of them lasted (I know I was dating them for the wrong reasons and I’m ashamed of that too), I’ve even gone for the selfish option of one night stands a few times, I’ve tried not getting involved with any girls (in a romantic way) and forcing my thoughts away from Sarah but nothing seems to stop me thinking and dreaming of her. I’m not sure if I should try and speak to her or just carry on as I am, she seems to be happy without me, she has a boyfriend at the moment I hadn’t mentioned anything as she was doing her A levels this year and I didn’t want to distract her, but the A levels are over now.I’d like some advice on whether I should tell her or just leave her alone as she’s happy enough without me.
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broke up, flirt, has a boyfriend, moved out, one night stand, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): You might as well tell her - all of it. If she is indifferent, then it wouldn't matter anyway. If she cares and shows emotion, then accept her if you can.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): You might as well tell her - all of it.
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