A
male
age
,
*egligee
writes:I am a man in my early fifties and I have recently met a lovely woman. I want this relationship to be successful and I want to be totally honest with her. My problem is that my honesty could destroy the relationship. I want to tell her that I like dressing up in women's clothes. Skirts, dresses, underwear and baby-doll nighties and negligees. If I keep it a secret I will have to throw away all my pretty girly clothes or try to hide them when she's at my place. If I tell her she might not like it. If I don't tell her she might find out in the future and feel that I deceived her. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): If you want to be with her you have to tell her about what you do. its best to do it now before you guys get too deep. Its not fair to wait until shes got deep feelings for you then tell her because that would be sneaky and underhand and you should respect her more than that if you want her to be your partner. Tell her now while your feelings are still new and if shes not in to it it wont cause to much trouble.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (6 January 2010):
The thing that makes women angry the most is being lied to. In the majority of cases these days, most women would be willing to accept stuff like this as long as she felt secure in the relationship, loved, respected and valued by a considerate partner. But dont just blurt it out and put yourself out there like that. Try ask her lots of questions about what she's into and let her know you are open to her needs. Then maybe what ifs or role playing ideas. Dont start with anything extreme like the negligée, maybe just the underwear to begin with. If you find that she is going with this then come clean. If she gives you that look when you bring out the underwear then you know there is no need to bring out the whole box of goodies. Try to get to know her first before you spring this surprise. That way, her feelings for you will overcome any initial reluctance to your fetish. If she is already visiting your place and you dont trust her yet enough to show her your gear, just box it away. Because if she snoops through your closet she might think you are with another woman and she won't believe your fetish story after that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend liked that stuff i think it's ok
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Hello. If its something you cant or wont give up, then you have to tell her. Some people only find out these things after a long time with a partner. And it can cause so much trouble and lead to break ups. Not least because of all the lying thats involved in hiding the truth. Its better and fairer on her to explain about it now, rather than have her find out later, when it could cause real damage to your relationship. You said yourself that you want to be honest. So be honest. I for one, find nothing wrong with cross dressing. Others find it deeply disturbing. You need to find out now before things get too serious, whether you are actually compatible with this woman or not.
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A
female
reader, mexicana897  +, writes (6 January 2010):
I think you should wait and see if you can tell her.
If she really likes you, she'll understand. You said you've met her recently? So my advice is to wait. Good luck!
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