A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi ok so last night something kinda strange happened. I was hanging out with a guy who I've hooked up with a few times but casually and our friends at a party, I was a little tipsy but not drunk. Anyway we were flirting quite a lot and he kept wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into to kiss me. Obviously I was just like this is him playing around and flirting like away but then he made a joke teasing me about how he dated the same girl either side of hooking up with me and when I jokingly told him off he said "well you wouldn't be my girlfriend" either referencing how months ago I told him that I didn't want a relationship with him (before said hooking up) or he just said that I would never be his girlfriend because he didn't want one with me. At which point I was thinking he'd say he was joking but no there was an awkward silent moment and just before I was about to say anything he sighed kissed me on the forehead and then walked away. After that he was fine and back to fun flirting. My question is I don't know the meaning of what he told me but I do like him and I'm seeing him on Friday and I don't know if I should tell him I like him before we go off to uni.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 August 2015):
 If you tell him now he will not believe you. He's the same person as few months ago so he won't understand why you suddenly want a relationship with him. It can be attachment, or not wanting some other girl to have him. I think acting lovey dovey won't change the fact that before there's some reason you didn't see him in a romantic sense.
I think you should trust your first impression on him more and not let the sex blur your decisions. It's true that some people need more time to develop a likeness, and others have a love hate relationship going on first. It's different when you clearly say to someone you won't have a relationship with them. It takes a lot of convincing to him why you no longer feel the way you do months ago. And if he agrees to date you, take it slow and build trust through focusing on each other and not meeting other people.
A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (19 August 2015):
 If you like him and want to date him then make sure he dates you from the get go instead of allowing him to do the FWB on you from the start. If you are hoping that being done through FWB you will gain a BF you are very much mistaken because FWB means you are just a sex object and "feelings" he may show to you are just part of general niceness so that the sex will go smooth. Most FWB situations turn into an emotional agony where the girl hopes to gain a BF by putting out to a man who has no interest in being with you other then orgasm. Nor do women engaged in FWB come out emotionally enriched by the experience in relation to ones who were dating. However, people are free to choose what they wish to do with their body... and so are you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2015): You don’t know exactly what he meant and most likely he is not really sure where you are coming from. Solution? – on Friday have an adult conversation with him – both of you talk until you both clearly understand where the other is coming from! You could get the conversation going by saying you both had a bit to drink at the party and it wasn’t really an appropriate place to get into a personal discussion, but now you feel the need to have a talk to make sure there is no misunderstanding between you.Does that mean you tell him you like him? Maybe, maybe not. But if you tell him that you would like to date him, that you would like to build a relationship with him rather than just FWB – then I think it will be obvious to him that you like him. And if what you are really trying to say is that there will be no more “benefits”, unless you are his exclusive girlfriend – then for sure you should say that.Obviously, what and how much you say to him will depend on what he says back to you. You want to find out what he is thinking – so take it one step at a time, give him time and make sure he does respond, rather than this being a monologue from you.What if he says things are just fine like they are? What would you say? I would say, “Okay that’s fine we can be friends, but there will be no more benefits, sorry.”
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