A
male
age
36-40,
*ensamare
writes:Hi,I have had a crush on my best friends younger sister for a very long time. I have been best friends with him since First Grade, and I have been friends with his sister since about Fourth or Fifth Grade. She told me a few years ago that she liked me, but I assumed it was just a young girls infatiuation. Not long after that I started to like her, and I told my best friend I liked his sister and he was shocked. His parents divorced and his sister moved to Georgia with her mom, while my friend stayed here in Florida with his dad. A little less than a year ago I talked to her all night, and she told me that she liked me back then, and I her. Now I have actual feelings for her, but I have joked about it with my friend and he gets angry, but he is an overall angry person. I want to tell his sister I like her, but I am not sure if I should, or how to do it. I am 19 and she is 16, and even though she lives about 9 hours away, she visits alot, and could move back with her dad whenever she wants. Should I tell her how I feel and ask her out? or would it be wrong to have her consider moving back to Florida to be with me and face possible anger from my best friend?
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (19 July 2010):
Keep friendly contact for now and when she visits next try to spend a bit of time with her and see how things go. I think it is important to spend a bit of time with her and tell her you like her to her face not over the phone or internet. But i would deffinately tell her and if she doesnt feel the same then at least you know and can still be friends. Even if her brother is angry at first im sure he will get used to it if he thinks you are good to her and that you really like each other. Good luck.
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 When you got crush the best is to befriend.The reason to do this is that crushes fade.And it is not recommended to build relationship on crush only."Should I tell her how I feel and ask her out?" - I guess YES.You can "face possible anger", but it's worth taking the risk.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (19 July 2007):
Hi there,
This is a tough question, because you already know that your friend is not pleased about how you feel. It is possible that he gets angry because you joked about it – is that possible? Might he think that you are making a joke of his sister? If so, it might be possible to persuade him that you have only respectful feelings for her. I think it comes down to how much you value your friendship with him, because it may mean losing it if you get involved with his sister. In all honesty, I think that the 9 hour distance might make this a non-starter. Presumably she is still in school? So it wouldn’t be that simple for her to move back at the moment, and she would be moving back for a relationship that hasn’t even started. If you don’t feel able to just let this go, then the best thing would be to take it slowly. When she visits, let her know that you like her, but not in a heavy way. See how she reacts. If she makes it clear that she is interested, maybe she could tell her brother that she has liked you for a long time. Then he won’t think it’s all about you pursuing her. But, like I said, don’t rush it. That’s the best chance of keeping your friend – give him time to get used to the idea. Remember that if you do get involved with his sister, and it all goes wrong, he might well blame you entirely.
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