A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so i'm like freaking out. i think this sort of started maybe 3 years ago when i started talking to my friend from germany. at first, it was just normal things and we chatted like everyday, and then he gradually started flirting and stuff but i didn't think he meant it really. but then we became really close, and we exchanged all kinds of personal info that people only tell their closest friends. i told him that i liked him when we first started to talk a bit, and then i stopped having those feelings for a long while, and he got a girlfriend so i was happy for him, and i said i didn't feel that way anymore. but after being with her for about 2 years or so, they recently broke up and they aren't getting back together. so now 3 years later, we've become really close and we're best friends. and sometimes he says things that make me think that he likes me beyond that, he just doesn't admit it or something. and he'll make things to show to me, and he'll make things for me, and he'll do nice things for me. also, after i graduate i'm planning on studying abroad and i wanted to go and visit my friend. another thing that's a little weird is that i talk to his brother too, and i know that his brother likes me, and he made me promise him a kiss when i came to see them (i asked my best friend what he would do if his brother actually kissed me, and his reaction was "omg"). but it feels like i have feelings for my best friend, and he makes me super happy when he's there for me to talk to, and i don't know what life would be like without him. so i'm wondering if i should tell him about what i'm feeling for him, and i'm wondering if it's possible or impossible to be with him when i can finally am able to travel there to see him. i know that i'm special to him, and he's special to me, and lately since he broke up with his gf he's been really nice and sweet to me. now i'm confused and i'm feeling this way again.what do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2009): Firstly when you know someone for a long time, and are so close, its easy to fall in love with them, its like lovers and friends but it is better to know someone as a friend first before getting into a relationship, but you need to be mindful that either you value his friendship more or you are aware of the risks involved (surrounding your friendship) if you would like to be in a relationship with him now, (if I understand correctly are you planning to study in his country?)
You said also that they broke up recently and "not getting back together", (that sounds like his words) but be careful you are not his rebound, cause what sticks out to me is where you said since they broke up he has been really nice to you, and since you are really close, i'm sure him getting comfort from you wont be hard. Another thing is the brother, be careful you don't mislead the brother you will create confusion, So you asked what do you do? I say proceed with caution, good luck!
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