A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Soo I have this nasty ass ex boyfriend i've dated for 3 years and we had sex maybe a month ago. I heard he was sleeping around and sure enough he gave me clamidia. I took the z pack a week an half ago. Now i have a boyfriend and i don't know what to tell him if he wants to have sex. How long exactly should I wait for and what should I say to him? I'm not telling him the truth because it might scare him off. :(
View related questions:
std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Try find a free clinic and get retested.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 You need to get checked again before you can think about having sex with him just to make sure the medicine has worked. This website might help you
http://yourstdhelp.com/free_clinic_locator.html
Or if that doesnt help, go back to the doctor where you got the medicine from and ask to have another test. I am not from the US so I cant really help on the no money/no insurance situation, but surely if you managed to get treatment in the first place then you must have found a way to see a doctor without money/insurance?
I'm sure in the US there are ways to get treated even without insurance so do a bit of research online and try to find a free sexual health clinic in your area.
And then get some condoms so if you do have sex with your boyfriend you will be totally protected from anything like this happening again!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i was young & in love we were together for three years soo protection was the last thing on my mind..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni've tooken the medicine for bout 3 weeks now .. i have no symptoms & all i have been telling him is that my periods messed up soo he doesn't wonder .. I wanta go get checked again to be positive but i have no insurance & no money,, does any1 kno what i should do know
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): Yes you need to be honest. You do not however have to tell him anything yet. But however I would speck up before it came to that moment. You know how this has affected your health and don't need to spread it. You can still have sex but both you and he should get an appointment together at the doctors so all his and your concerns can be addressed and you will both be able use protection correctly. Best luck to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 July 2010):
PLEASE take Kc100's advice.
And if you can't be honest with a guy about your sexual past (which I might add include STD's) DON'T HAVE SEX!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 July 2010):
 Oh, forgot to add something, that little last line of yours? "I'm not telling him the truth because it might scare him off." That's probably what someone else said at some point, and that is precisely why you wound up with an STD. There's a responsibility here--if you're being a big girl and having unprotected sex, you have to act like a big girl and be brave and tell the truth.
And I really like kc100's rule for sex in a new relationship. That's a good one.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 July 2010):
You should go to the doctor to be sure you're rid of the infection. From the plannedparenthood.org website: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/chlamydia-4266.htm
"If you are treated for chlamydia, or any other sexually transmitted disease or infection, remember
Take all of the prescribed medicine. Even if the symptoms go away, the infection may still be in your body until the chlamydia treatment is complete.
Schedule follow up visits to make sure you've been cured before you have sex again.
Make sure your partner(s) is/are treated before having sex again so you don't infect each other.
Do not share your medicine with anyone.
Once you are cured and start having sex again, use female or latex condoms every time you have vaginal or anal intercourse."
Did you wear a condom with your ex? Time to start if not.
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 July 2010):
Well if you have not yet slept with your new boyfriend then there is no need to tell him - speak to your doctor and find out how long it takes for the medicine to clear it. Then once you are clear you can have sex with him but you MUST use a condom + birth control if you want to stop this from happening again.
Sleeping around without protection is only going to mean you repeatedly catch STD's and there is a lot worse out there other than Chlamidya!
My general rule with sex and relationships is that you use a condom + birth control at first, then after a month/2 months when you know you are staying together, you BOTH get an STD test and if you are both clear then you can have sex without the condom. This has worked for me, I have never had a STD and dont plan on getting one in the future!
You need to take responsibility for your own body, you cannot just go around having sex and then thinking about the consequences after. Yes it is nasty that your ex gave you an STD, but it is equally your own fault for having unprotected sex! As soon as you let him put his penis inside you with no condom you basically said "I dont care if I get an STD". So learn your lesson and make sure you never have unprotected sex again!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (1 July 2010):
 Obviously you need to tell him, but I'd say only if the subject of sex comes up or things move towards that direction. If not, wait for the antibiotics to work and if all goes well, he won't have to know.
On a side note, I'd stay away from your ex from now on.
...............................
|
