A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my GF. she has never told me this outright, but i know she wants to marry me and has envisioned a future of forever with me. how i know doesn't matter but this is the truth. my problem is this: i cannot promise her forever, mainly for two reasons....1) I am inexperienced in love - - she is my first serious gf, and while i love her dearly i don't know what else is out there, and sometimes i find myself wondering. ALSO, she is my first lover, and while it doesn't bother me now, i just don't know if i can live my whole life and have only had sex with one woman. it might sound shallow, but i think it's fair).AND2) I am inexperienced in life - - i just graduated college and still have dreams to pursue and other places i want to live. i haven't even landed a serious job yet and am striving to become a filmmaker, so that's a difficult life ahead of me, and i don't know if i can focus on it 100% and commit 100% to a relationship.we are only 22 and in my mind, still way to young for marriage, even if i was sure she is the ONE. i don't want to break up with her and i don't want to lose her, but i feel like i am being unfair by not coming out and saying i am not in a position to promise her forever.my questions:1). should i tell her this? (i think i already know the answer)AND2) how do i tell her? how do i possibly tell her this and not hurt her, and do you think she would ever stay with me knowing i can't promise her forever, at least not yet?thanks so much for the advice. i am really struggling with this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (10 January 2009):
 If she hasn't told you outright that she wants to marry you but you "know", don't bring it it up as there really isn't a good way of saying "hey, I don't want to marry you" completely out of the blue if she hasn't told you that it was on her mind in the first place (even if it is). And by the way, I think that even though you are young, it's incredibly mature to acknowledge that you're not ready for the ball 'n chain because I've seen several of my friends make that mistake for the wrong reasons and it gets messy.
-Jmo
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