A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here goes. First of all, My girlfriend means the world to me. Honestly. I've thought about it, and I really, really love her. She's the reason I wake up in the morning. She's the reason I breathe. When I look at her, all I can see is happiness. All I can think about is supporting her. Giving everything to her. Living and dying for her. And I know she feels the same. However, I've had a lot of relationships. And I've never had a real father figure in my life. Men came and went as "Dad" but never stuck around. I've also been told that I'm easy to fall in love with, but easy to forget. Needless to say, I have some pretty extreme self-esteem issues, accompanied by chronic depression, and severe jealousy. My whole relationship with this girl I have been overly fearful that she would cheat on me. Now, I have cheated instead. I was drunk and it meant nothing. The other girl is vastly irrelevant to me. I haven't told my lady. It would crush her. I would hate more than anything for her to feel sad. I hate when she cries. Even over little things like when she stubs her toe or can't find her cell phone. It tears me apart. I have been crying now for about 4 hours. Even now I am crying and thinking of how I don't deserve her, I think I love her too much to tell her. I know how that sounds. But I'm already hurt. I don't think I could feel worse, but to make her feel bad at all would kill me. I wish there were a way to tell her without losing the warmth. How selfish. I'm such a selfish man. I feel like I'm sinking. If I tell her, we will definitely never mend. I don't think I can do that to her. What should I do? It's my fault. I shouldn't have done it in the first place, but she lives 100 miles away, and I don't know anyone here aside from this girl. I feel lonely easily. Excuses. I know. Basically, It would crush her if I tell her, and I would probably die if I knew she were ever feeling that bad. Should I tell her? There's no way she will find out not from me, and if she does I can deny it effectively. And I will never ever do this again. I can't put into text how sincere that is. What should I do?
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female
reader, SAD WOMAN +, writes (27 December 2008):
Let me clarify this and I might be wrong.
Ok, you said that you were drunk, but seem that you were conscious enough to cheat on her; you knew what you were doing. You got yourself erected and had an intercourse until you have the orgasm. So, you did all mindful, even though you sated tat you were drunk, you knew what you were doing.
If you loved her so much, you should not have think negatively about her, and you should not ever think about to look at other woman.
Remember - once a cheater always a cheater.
If you love her that much, you ought to tell her the truth, otherwise there is a possibility that she will find out one day, somehow, or from somebody. And that will hurt her more than ever. If she truly loves you, she and both of you will find a way to work things out. Remember, if there is really love between you two, it will prevail.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Im heartened to hear you are continuing on the path. This may mean telling the truth to your gf and possibly losing her.
You said it's hard to believe in something you can't see.
Check out this
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3902864/Blind-man-navigates-obstacle-course-using-blindsight.html
God bless
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): you need to be honest with this girl. If you love her as much as you say you do. you will. This is coming from a girl who knows whats she is talking about. My boyfriend at present, last year he was at a party. Some girl kissed him. And he was drunk. It took him a while to pull away. He was in shock it happened. He did not no what to do. He told me face to face the next day. He was horrifed to tell me, he thought he lost me. Yeah i was upset and very angry. But he told me. He was honest. If i found out from someone else would hurt alot more. And i prob would not of stayed around. I cant say this will save your relationship. Cause every relationship is different. But be honest. She would appriciate it in the long run. Hope i helped out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I have been on a long and bumpy relationship with God as well.I have been baptized twice and really want to believe. But I'm so cynical and jaded it's hard to find faith in something I can't see. But down that road is where I will head once again. Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, reecey_rawwrrr  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 awww, sounds like your girlfriend means so much to you. But you would have to pluck up the courage to tell her the truth. Everytime you see her, it must be hard thinking " how could i cheat on her?"... you cant keep living like that. She seems so lucky to have someone as caring as you, and you should respect that. But just tell her how you feel, if you leave it too long, things could go worst.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): 'Souls undone undoing others ever since the world began'
Rebuild yourself through God. Your foundations are weak, and you will continue to collapse and bring pain to others along the way.
Good luck
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