A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was dating a girl for a couple of months. I realized that we didn't share much in common for things to work out in the long term. But she seemed very into me that I found it difficult o break-up, which I finally finally did. She didn't seem to take it too well and still sends messages and mails which are clingy and unbecoming of someone you are not in a relationship with. Each time I asked her to stop she became nastier so I started to ignore her. This has been going on for months now and is annoying.I starting seeing another girl now. I like her but surely it will take some time for us to know each other more to share stuff. The question is, should I tell her about my obsessive-ex. I am worried I may scare her away. At the same time I am worried that by not sharing I may come across as dishonest. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): Hmmm reasoning with an ex is always an option.It seriously seems like you want to portray yourself as someone being chased.Its India for heaven's sake.All you have to do is tell the obsessive ex's parents or guardian.you can still get a restraining order against her contacting you by phone or mail or in person.The truth never hides lad.It always comes out.Remember Karma is a bitch.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): Thanks for your responses.
I don't think reasoning with my ex is still an option. I plan to tell the girl I like, the problem. There is a small risk that I will freak her out but feels like the right thing to do.
Thank you all once again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): OP(Stands for Original poster),
Is there anyway you can block the messages?Where is she sending you messages or mails on?facebook or yahoo or gmail?Next time she messages you,just send a copy of this question to her.I don't think any self respecting girl how much ever she is obsessed with you,will send you any messages or mails after reading this post.Hope this helps.The solution is simple but hard to implement.All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): I think you should tell her, just explain to her what you have told us here. Otherwise, if she found out about your ex constantly trying to contact you, she might take it the wrong way and think there is something going on. If you forewarn her, at least if your ex starts to become troublesome again she will understand what is going on. As for scaring her away, well, I think she may have to be told at some point in the relationship anyway, so might as well get it out sooner rather than later. For what it's worth, if I started seeing someone who told me they had an obsessive ex, it wouldn't put me off. So it might all be fine. Good luck. x
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A
male
reader, Braha  +, writes (4 June 2010):
It sounds like, excuse me but this is the gist of what you wrote in my opinion, that you are still wondering about the earlier girlfriend. Anyway, to your question...Before you get too involved about yourself, ask the new one if she is willing to SHARE former experiences meaning that you each tell the other about an earlier relationship. This is not about me, e I, I. This is about her also, not just what she thinks of you but what do youthink of her also. Perhaps when she "confesses," you will find out something about her that is great or horrible but remember that you too are going to be relating something that might be great or terrible to her also.This is all about sharing, not about you and not about her.
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A
female
reader, rachel1991  +, writes (4 June 2010):
I think you should tell her but explain everything like you just have because if i was her i would rather you tell me than find out some other way. Maybe you need to explain to this ex that she needs to move on and being like this is not going to get her anywhere, dont be nasty about it just put it in a nice way and hopefully she will get the picture. Definately tell his new girl though and maybe she could help you by giving the womans perspective on how to tell this ex to move on. Hope everything works out for you.
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A
female
reader, real life answers +, writes (4 June 2010):
yeah you definatly should tell her or if she finds out about her then the first thing she will say is why didnt you tell me and then she will acuse you of cheating... it is what every girl does im a girl and personally if my bf had a girl who was semingly obsessed i would most defo want to know ... if he left it for ages then that is when i would fly off the handle x
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Tell her only when she asks about your past relationships. I personally don't care if you tell me this I would be like, "why do I need to know this." That obsessive girl doesn't count as an ex because it didn't proceed into a relationship. Just refer to her as the annoying girl. Block her.
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A
male
reader, Hippieman182 +, writes (4 June 2010):
 If i was in your situation i'd just be honest with her. The best relationships in my opinion are honest ones. If she likes you enough that situation shouldn't split you two up. she should see you like her enough to be honest with her and you have nothing to hide. If you didn't tell her then she found out somehow, then wouldn't that be worse? She would think you are hiding things. I hope you've figured things out and things get better for you
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