A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I talk about this when I meet up with an old friend?I'm meeting a friend this weekend, who I haven't seen for a few years. I want to talk about everything that has been going on recently, such as when I went on holiday for the weekend to visit my dad, my job, my hobbies, e.t.c. However, I have been through an awful time this year too. My Uncle was diagnosed with Cancer, and he died a few weeks after he was diagnosed. Do you think it would be better if I don't mention that, as it isn't a nice thing to talk about?. The thing is, my friend will ask how my family is, and I could tell the truth and say that they have been through an awful time. Also, my friend's mum died when my friend was a teenager, and we took my friend on holiday to try and help her to feel better. So, I think she will understand if I talk about my Uncle with her. My Uncle and I were very close.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 November 2013):
 of course you talk about it... it's part of your life and that is part of catching up...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013): Thanks for your replies everyone. She never met my Uncle, so i'm not sure if it would be right to talk about it with her or not. I did post a status message on my facebook page about my Uncle when he passed away, but i'm not sure if my friend saw it or not, as she didn't comment on it . She is on my friends list on facebook. I have talked about it with other friends, but I saw them soon after he passed away ( he passed away in July ).
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (31 October 2013):
 Of course you should talk about it. If she's a real friend, which I'm sure she is, she would want to know.
I Know I would want to know if I were in her shoes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 October 2013):
I think you should talk about him if you feel the time is right - and you'll know if and when that is when you're talking to your friend. I wouldn't go and see your friend with a list of things that you think you should and shouldn't talk about, or it might make it awkward.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013): She's an old friend... of COURSE you can talk about it if you're asking whether it's good etiquette. Even if your uncle was someone she'd never met - friends share both bad and good times.If you're more worried about the effect it would have on you then that's another story. I can see why you might want to avoid talking about it if you feel that you'll be in floods of uncontrollable tears. Just tell that you'd rather not talk about it because it makes you sad.I'm working on the general assumption here that your old friend didn't really know your uncle that well (if at all) and that if she did, she is now aware that he is dead. If she knew him and isn't aware he's dead then of course you should tell her. I'd be gutted if a friend's family member who I'd met had died and they didn't tell me
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