A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:2 weeks ago I met a guy and we started seeing each other. We are both living in the same country (not our home country). We've been on 4 dates and we both said we like each other. we both agreed not to have sex as it's too early and we don't want this to be just a fling. we were intimate though (oral sex). He had to go back to his home country for a short visit (4 days) and during those 4 days I was also going to be away (in another country) so we agreed to stay in touch via email. However, I didnt hear from him except for a 5am call (he hung up before i managed to answer) and a text (didn't make a lot of sense; he seemed drunk). I jokingly replied to his text " r you drunk?" but I didn't get any reply from him. Should I take this guy seriously? The beginning of a relationship is supposed to be the most exciting part but we were apart for 4 days and he didn't even call/text except once. I was so happy that I found someone who was on the same page like me (looking for something long lasting rather than just sex) and now I already feel disappointed.Should I text him again? or should I just leave it?
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (20 June 2010):
 I'd leave it, but it all depends if you want to do the chasing or not. At some point in most relationships there is a persuance either from one or the other. It just depends on how bad you want them and if there worth it.
On the otherhand many blokes have been reading these stupid psychological books about how to make a woman love you and one of these tacticts is to: once she's hooked leave her and she will chase you like she's addicted to drugs. The thing is, it actually works very well, however it's only good for the short term. In the long run the relationships becomes very untrustworthy and other elements such as distrust, paranoia, and a sence of feeling if unfullflment.
True love does not work like that although there may be some chasing it's usually fun and euphoric building up a good sexual tension between two lovers. They have great trust never play any games or make the other significant feel useless or unloved.
For you I'd give it I little more time to be sure. Say two weeks. Try calling once a week and have a chat if it develops then that's good, but if no and he's draging you along it's up to you to hang on. But it could potentially be a waste.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): i met this guy in person, not online
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