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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 2 years was accepted to med school in the next state, 3 hours away. I am currently finishing my MA, so I will be done with school and looking for a new job about the time that he moves. Yes, we have discussed marriage. No, those dicussions have not gone anywhere, since, until this point, he and I were both full time students and full time workers. Yes, we have discussed moving in together, but not seriously.What do you think? Should I take the plunge and move? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, unsure +, writes (14 September 2005):
Considering you don't have any commitments at that time and still young I would say go for it... providing you ahve support from your family and friends if it doesn't work out. Be strong and know what you want before going. Although it's fun being spontaneous and saying 'stuff it I'll do it' you also have to think of a back-up plan... just in case. It sounds bad but you have to think of yourself first. I wouldn't worry about marriage just yet - live with him first so you can learn all of his 'quirks'. I guess just ask yourself... what's holding you back? Weigh up the pros and cons (the old fashioned way!). Good luck!
A
reader, pops +, writes (14 September 2005):
How about, What do you think? I don't think any opinion any of us have is relevant to how you feel about your bf, and how he feels about you! Does he want you to follow him to the other state? Or is this just a college romance that is about over? Because of the school commitment, both of you have been sensible and not thought about a marriage. However, your education is about complete, and he will be embarking on many years of professional training. It will take him away from you for days and weeks on end, and put great strain on any relationship, not the least being a marriage. He may be reluctant to ask you to suffer through all that. Talk to him about what he expects life is going to be like for him as he goes through med school, internships, residency, etc. Does he know now what his chances are at staying in the same city where his med. school is located to do his internship? If he is looking to have to move from where the med school is to do his internship, and then move again to do a residency, you need to know so that you can plan your career goals, accordingly.
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