A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,My boyfriend dumped me about three months ago, and even though it was quite a short relationship (a month), it ended extremely suddenly. One week everything was brilliant, and the next it was over. I didn't really handle it very well and even though we were good friends before we started going out, I've lost all contact with him. At first he tried to talk to me, and I don't think I was unfriendly or anything, so I don't get why it's all stopped. When he dumped me he was pretty adamant that he wanted us to still be friends, and I don't get what has changed since then! Neither of us has started dating anyone new! Like I said it's been three months and I want to regain the friendship we once had. Do you think I should take the first step and talk to him or is he trying to tell me that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, neonpinkngooey  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 I have been in this situation, except i was in your ex-boyfriend's shoes. How long have you two been friends? If you know him only because of your relationship, then many problems are going to occur between you two if you become friends again.
He may only tell you that he wants to be friends with you so that he can pacify the situation. In reality, he may not see the point of being friends with someone he left a relationship with. In many cases, when exes become friends again, they fight repeatedly about he said/she said issues, or they argue about problems that were never confronted while they were together. So, instead of being friends as they had planned, they end up just being problematic exes.
If i were in your situation, I would let go of this guy. It seems as if there was no dignity involved on his part. He let you go without any notice! Also, if you two had been great friends throughout the relationship, there would have been more communication.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
A
female
reader, {*HyPa~AzN~hUnNiE~*}  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 you should ask him, go on you've got nothing to loose. but dont act too desperate just "accidently" bump into him somewhere you know he occassionally goes and ask him what hes been up to n hows he been, and then tell him how u really miss tlking to him n den make up a party and invite him. when he arrives tell him u called it off because your "ill" enjoy the pleasure of him makin u feel well loltoodles
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A
female
reader, Melanne +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Hi my main reaction when I first read this was that it might hurt you even more being friends with him because you still sound like you have feelings for him and if you stay friends you may wish you were back together with him.The fact that it ended suddenly is suspicious it sounds like he has another girl or something. Why did he suddenly dump you out of the blue? This must have really hurt you and the added upset that you were not expecting it. It wasn't a very nice thing to do to someone you care about. It sounds like your boyfriend was extremely unpredicatable one week all is fine then the next he decides to dump you. I know this might hurt but, it sounds like he used you.You say you were good friends before you started going out and now you have lost all contact with him. This doesn't sound like he really cares about you.I think you probably need to talk to him and ask him why he is treating you like this. Tell him you need the truth even if it hurts at least then you will know one way or another. At the moment you are just hanging in there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): You could try to get your friendship back. After friendship turns to love getting back to being friends again can be hard after splitting up. If he doesn't seem bothered to become friends with you after your attempt to then give up, he's not worth your friendship.
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