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writes: This guy "George" and I have been friends since I started high school, and were friends throughout. A year ago we started seeing each other romantically. Two months ago George proposed to me and I happily accepted. Everything seemed picture perfect.However, George joined the military three months ago, and the whole long-distance thing really put a strain on our relationship. I got frustrated and unfairly took it out on him. It wasn't long before every phone call turned into an argument. About a week ago, everything was at its worst, and I was accusing George of not caring about me and saying that he just didn't make me happy. Then I found out that George had signed up for an online dating service. He had only signed up and had never used it, but I was furious and I broke up with him immediately.I miss him so much now, though. I know I pushed him away, and I feel so bad for that. Part of me wants to take George back and work on our relationship problems with him. The other part of me is scared that he'll do something like that again, though. I know forgiveness takes time, but I'm not sure if he even deserves it. What should I do? Should I give him another shot? Or should I accept that this wasn't meant to be and move on?I appreciate all the help I can get. Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks snowbird. I really appreciate all your advice. I'm trying to figure out what to do, but it's confusing and overwhelming. It just seems like both of my options could leave me very unhappy. I'm thinking too negatively. I just don't want to give him another shot if this, or something worse, were to happen again. On the other hand, if I didn't give him another chance I know I would feel regret for it. Which do I follow, my heart or my head?
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reader, snowbird  +, writes (3 August 2006):
 I think distance has played it's part to spoil things for you. If all else in the relationship was going well and you were at least communicating, then I would say give it another try. Ask him to delete his profile (he did'nt use it, after all, did he?) If he does this, it will show that he had no intention of using it, as you are his no. 1, and the dating website was only a safety net. Also gert him to tell you if he ever feels that concerned about how the relationship is progressing.. It could have been that he was just afraid of being lonely if he were stuck out there alone should you ever dump him. This time try to only address the most important issues that you have, and make sure he looks forward to your calls. If you do feel a grumble coming on, write it down and make sure you discuss it, and any other 'issue' say, once a month or even less often. you can always leave out the less important issues. Life is too short! Make certain that ALL other calls are about nice things, i.e. how he is, what has he done today, how he is feeling, etc. Tell him how much you are missing him (if you don't already); and flirt with him, tell him about the sexy undies you are wearing, etc. Have some fun, and use your imagination!! Just don't, for goodness sake, have him dreading 'ball and chain' type calls!! Love does'nt knock on the door every day, so go for it - and please feel free to drop me a private e-mail if you need to discuss anything at all. Give happiness a chance, or you will for ever be wondering "what if"... Good luck
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