A
female
age
26-29,
*rixie66
writes:My ex and I were together for 2 years but in the end it became unhealthy and toxic. He became verbally abusive and was flirting online with other girls which made me depressed and anxious. In the end I had to go ‘no contact’ in an attempt to get over him. It was hard but I thought I’d succeeded in ridding myself of any feelings I once had for him. A year later I unblocked him and had a sneak peek at what he was up to, like you do with your exes.He was still single. I’d been in two relationships since our split but none of them worked out because I just couldn’t fall in love with them. A few weeks after my latest split fell on my birthday and, to my surprise, my ex messaged me wishing me a happy birthday and asked why I was single and what had happened between me and the guy I was with. Bearing in mind we weren’t even friends on facebook so he must have done some serious stalking! He then told me that his mum had recently been diagnosed with cancer and of course I was shocked and offered some support. It was then that he became sentimental and told me he never really got over me, still loved me and couldn’t find anyone else like me, and, judging by the fact that I couldn’t stay in a relationship myself, I clearly couldn’t find anybody who compared to him either (i thought that was really smug of him). Then he started asking to meet up with me for a coffee. This triggered unexpected emotions in me and I was feeling quite sentimental towards him though I didn’t let it show. I was worried that I was going to fall into the toxic trap I was once in and which took me so long to break free from, so I blocked him again on facebook in a panic so he could message me no longer.A few weeks later the guilt kicked in and I searched him again. I discovered that he’d been asking another ex, who he's been friends with for years, to meet up with him too…she had a boyfriend and told him no. And he was flirting with this girl he knows (she was one of the girls he flirted with online way back when we were together) but it’s that immature verbally abusive banter type flirting, e.g. ‘looking quite sexy…for a minger *wink face*’ and she seems quite desperate, constantly asking him to take her out for meals. I blocked him again, embarrassed for ever getting back in touch with himPart of me feels selfish for blocking him when he’s going through a tough time, even though I owe him nothing? But another part of me feels angry and ashamed that I felt emotional towards him? And angrier still that I allowed myself to succumb to his desperate ways? What would you have done?
View related questions:
depressed, facebook, flirt, immature, my ex, stalking Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 January 2017):
 Leave him blocked.
You broke up for a reason and you've done well to get to the point you're at. Don't ruin it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 January 2017):
 Honestly he loves himself more than he could ever love another person. He is arrogant, self centered and uses you and other women for attention purposes only. Him telling you about his mothers cancer was for you to feel sorry for him, shame on him.
Please do not feel selfish for blocking him, as I am sure you are one off many that he is messaging and that is possibly why he is still single. Don't be angry that you felt emotion as that is normal, he is your ex and emotions will always run high if back in contact. Try and let it go now, what has happened has happened. You done the right thing blocking him again. Try and continue to move on.
...............................
|
