A
male
age
30-35,
*ub445
writes:Alright.. So I have been talking to this girl on and off for the past year now. Just like most people, she does not like to make decisions. She has been dating someone else(a real lying pos) for the last few months, but she still talks to me and she says she feels trapped in her relationship. She saves she loves me, but she wont leave her boyfriend for me. I love her too, so i wait on her. In the last week she came to with a problem about her boyfriend being "sick". I knew the guys last 2 girl friends, so i went to them about this sickness. Both of them responded with great anger and they couldnt believe that he was pulling that stunt again. One of the girls confronted him about it and he actually admitted, that he just made it up to them. So i hooked up a meeting between the ex and now girlfriend, and they talked about it everything. I would assume this would be enough for her to leave him.She is going through a lot of confusion right now and i understand that. After a year of waiting on this girl, it really has been a roller coaster ride. but i believe it will be worth it in the long run. Im scared that he will lie his way out of this situation and she will end up staying with him. Is there anything that I should do to help her make up her mind? Should I suggest leaving him for me? I dont wanna push her into something because i feel that she should decide on her own what she wants. i just feel helpless.. any incite on this kind of problem would be so helpful.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): I think you should tell her how you feel. It might make a huge difference in her decision- knowing that there's someone else who loves her might be the incentive she needs to walk away. Regardless of her decision, you'll always regret not telling her that you love her and wish that there could be a future for the two of you.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Well if you just wanna help her make up her mind i think u have done enough of that and now its time to back off and let her live her life. U arranged the meeting with exes i dont know why u thought that will make her choose you no woman in the world will take a word of advice from an ex i guess we all know why.
Untrap yourself first then maybe you will be able to help her unconditionally and selflessly.
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A
male
reader, dub445 +, writes (28 February 2008):
dub445 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just wanna help her make up her mind even though that isnt even possible.
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A
male
reader, dub445 +, writes (28 February 2008):
dub445 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really would never try to force her in to anything, i honestly would never suggest leaving her leaving him for me, because it just doesnt work that way. I have just been waiting on this for a really long time, and i cant walk away, and im definitely trapped.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 You do nothing of that sort. You will try to be better than him and allow her to choose who she wants.
Good will triumph over evil.
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A
female
reader, Lucy2118  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Hmmm this is a hard one. I think you should leave her to make her own mind up, like you said you don't want to push her into anything. But if she does leave him, don't be surprised if she doesn't come running into your arms straight away. She'll be confused so leave her to in until she decides what she wants. Hopefully this will work out for the best for both of you.
Hope this helps.
X
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A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (27 February 2008):
Hi
I think u need to allow her to make her own decisions making them for her will only hurt you as she will be against them. like she said she cant leave him for you it means she doesnt love you enough to leave her boyfriend so i think that is an example of how capable she is of making her decision. You think she cant make a decision because her decision doesnt favour you.
Stop wanting to rule her life let her live it for herself if you keep going this way and her relationship ends believe me she will blame you for everything because you see what she doesnt see. she feels trapped but not enough to get out. let her learn from her mistakes like you said one day she will see him for who he is. which means stop doing anything to ruin her relationship because the guy is doing it himself.
Good luck
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