A
male
age
30-35,
*illiam5
writes:This isn’t a relationship as much as something I’m having problems with my best friend who’s a girl. Basically were really good friends. Hers the problem she seems to have completely changed in the course if 1 day and stayed that way for a month now and im somehow sick if the friendship. Basically she takes without giving...well anything even if it’s an online thing and that thing is free (like stuff in face book apps). She didn’t talk much before, but now I get about 3 words out if her a day and we spend HOURS together. And she just seems to have lost every ounce if interest in the friendship. I really don’t know what to do because when I asked her countless times "what’s wrong please tell me so I can help" she just shuts down until I ask something else, once she said that its cause her dad is madder and her mom is more annoying now but I don’t think that’s what made her different practically over night. I don’t know what to do because I use to love being around her and love everything she said, she would always laugh and that would just make my day,(honestly if I lost my arms and legs in the same day but herd her laugh id call it a good day). Now she never laughs and I honestly think I’m getting depressed from not hearing her laugh somehow. I can feel myself just slowly putting less and less effort in the friendship because she’s putting in about zero, I’m almost certain she’s trying to distance herself from me now I really think that. A big thing is that she’s now interested in everything she said she didn’t care about she now couldn’t put a bigger emphasis on and everything she use to love to do (which usually involved me tagging along) she now doesn’t have any time for it for some reason so now were also spending less and less time together (example: we mainly play games together, and she use to help people new on the game and say who cares about leveling, now she never helps anyone couldn’t be more obsessed with leveling and only asks for me to be with her when she NEEDS help not because she likes being with me at least that’s how it feels). Just as a test I left face book open for 3 hours while she was on this is a huge pet peeve of hers when someone is online but not at they’re computer so she would normally type "hi, HI, hello, get on, dude!, ok fine" then send a text or a face book message, (which would also appear as a text on my phone) to get online “GET ONLINE :D” but now she couldn’t care less if I’m online or with her. Another thing is that recently she told me to limit my texting to 10 a month because the bill is apparently $100 a month, heres the problem with that I would usually text quick "good morning get up or youl have to run to make it to school on time AGAIN" and that’s it for the texting(literally the only texting i do ith her now), cause her alarm clock can never wake her, she said each text she receives is 5 cents and she’s so sleepy in the morning that she never texts back so that would be about…$1.50, maybe $2 if I’m text happy that month, so unless the 2 texts she sends back are $49 a peace i don’t think that’s why she’s limiting my texts. I don’t know what to do. I almost just want to cut any connection to her and move on but I also loved being friends and want nuthing more than to go back so I don’t know what to do. Help please should I stop the friendship or try dragging along longer.
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female
reader, littleconfused +, writes (24 February 2011):
I dont know what to say...since I kind of have your life except I have your life and my guy friend has your girl friend's life.I woke up my guy friend too.Here how I think of it. YOU ARE GOING TO BE THERE ANYWAY RIGHT? She thinks you will always be there. You tried too hard for this friendship.My guy friend and I kind of didn't talk for about two months, and then we started talking again. He just ignored me as if I don't exist. It was just scary. I moved on and slowly just stop thinking about it. As I stopped to think about him, he came back...I guess he needed me? I don't know. But sometimes some cool off, she will know why she needs you. If she doesn't even come back for you, just forget about it! you have other friends! :)Good luck! :)
A
female
reader, shortone1 +, writes (24 February 2011):
 tell her how you feel. that you want to be friends and the way it used to be. how you like to hear her laugh what u just told us. she should go back to normal or shes doing drugs other then that idunno.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 There could be lots of things going on -- it might just be adolescent hormones.
There's also a possibility that it's something more serious. A change that sudden and that drastic? She could have had something traumatic happen to her. It wouldn't be responsible to speculate on what that might be. But what you're describing since that "one-day change" sounds like depression.
What she likely needs is to talk to a trusted adult. If that isn't a parent, then how about a school counsellor? Don't badger her about it or she's likely to withdraw further. But tell her that you're concerned about this change in her, that the 'old her' seemed much happier and healthier, and that you're willing to do whatever you can to help.
This is a site that you might show her:
http://org.kidshelpphone.ca/en/contact/
They offer online help, so she doesn't have to phone if she'd rather not. Even browsing some of the questions might help.
Don't back away from the relationship. It sounds like she needs a good friend now more than ever.
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