A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:at the moment i am getting divorced from my nasty husband who i have been with on and off for 20 years. im not at all used to the dating scene but i have been getting involved with a guy who is ten years younger than myself. the only thing i like about him is that he is nice to me unlike my ex. he texts me most days to see how i am but doesnt really ask to see me much as he is with his mates smoking weed most nights and doesnt work. should i just stop getting involved with him, as i think i should be getting involved with someone who will take me out etc.. and see me on a regular basis.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Don't settle for the first loser that comes along!
A
female
reader, louweez23 +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You're coming out of a difficult relationship and are therefore vulnerable (although I hate that word myself). What I mean is that your judgement with men may be clouded. As someone who has been in your position a long time ago it is so easy to fall into a realtionship wwith someone who shows you any human warmth, so I would exercise caution. As an abuse victim you are more likely to egt into another abusive relationship because you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like.
Smoking weed doesn't automatically make this man a bad choice but it is a red flag. Take your emotions out of it and take a good long hard look at all the factors involved. Write down what your ideal man would be like (i.e all the qualities you would look for in your ideal spouse/partner) and then tick off how many of these qualities this man meets. If it's more than 60% then you're ok to get involved but keep your wits about you. If it's more than 80% then go for it.
If it's less than 50% then consider carefully beacause the likelihood is that this is another abusive man, and you will have a similar realtionship with him that you had with the last.
Be careful.
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