A
female
age
51-59,
*ettysue
writes:I've been in a so-so marriage for 19 years. Thought of leaving many times but stayed for the kids. Recently my ex-fiance from 21 years ago saw my name on a reunion website and emailed me. He wants to keep in touch and be friends but, from what he has written it sounds like he still loves me. He says after I hurt him he had a hard time trusting anyone else. He only just got married 5 years ago but he does not sound happy. I don't know what to do. I still think of him fondly but we are both married. Should I stop answering his emails and risk hurting him all over again?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): In a word, "yes" - you should stop answering his emails, unless you fancy a messy and complicated fling with your ex.
I've never married but had lots of longish term relationships and have often reunited with ex's with the intention of being friends, and it's extremely rare for things to remain that way.
The fact you even mention you're in a "so-so" marriage screams you're considering a relationship with your ex beyond friendship.
I suggest you have a fling with a complete stranger - it's less likely to back-fire on you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Firstly, you need to know what you really want.You've stayed in your marriage for so long just for your kids. So is it time now to get a divorce as the kids might have grown up now??If you are ready for getting out of your marriage after all the years you've compromised, then its ok to start looking.But going back to some ex fiance will only make things worse especially as he's married now.Maybe you are ready for a new life but start off with a fresh relationship.You've already suffered for so many years in a loveless marriage.Don't make it more complicated by getting involved with a married man.It will onhly hurt you more.
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