A
female
age
41-50,
*ambi1980
writes:Me and my boyfriend split up over 2 months ago now. We were together for 18 months but broke up for a variety of reasons, mainly that I saw no future in it and that he had a lot of baggage. The break up was a mutual agreement, there were no rows or massive bust ups, we just agreed that it wasn't working.Since then we have been staying in touch daily. We text each other, talk occasionally and most recently he came over to give me a birthday present. I went to a gig with him yesterday because I bought the tickets when we were together and had no-one else to take.Although I want him as a friend I am finding it so hard. Most times after I see him and he goes home I am in floods of tears and missing him so bad. I feel so lonely and hopeless. It feels like I will never move on. Usually by 2 months I feel over someone but with him I don't. I feel worse now than when we originally split up.I know it takes time to get over someone but I don't know whether I'm making it worse by having contact with him. Would breaking all contact be easier?? I don't know what to do....
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Definitely breaking off contact would help get over him. After my divorce, I kept trying to make contact, etc. Every time it brought more pain. Finally, he stopped talking to me.When I quit trying to contact him like a fool, I thought,"Well, you know. Bill was smart not to have talked to me."AND your cutting off the "friendship" will make you feel in control of your life.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (15 September 2009):
Yes, breaking all contact will definitely help the process of getting over him. You can't move on if you still talk to him daily and see him frequently. Two months is still a fairly short amount of time to get over a past relationship even without contact, so I have to agree that the relationship that you two are still having is prolonging the process of getting over him.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Agreed 100% with Ask Oldersister. This is actually a VERY COMMON question on here. I think various people ask the same one everyday.
I suggest you read some of those questions and the related answers. You won't have to go back far, and in fact my profile will link you to a few of them.
You may find comfort in knowing that you are not alone with this problem and hearing all the useful tips previously offered by so many people.
Good luck!
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