A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I was wondering if my girlfriend still deserves me after screwing up many times and this being the biggest time of all. She is currently in another state and the only friends she has over there party and drink. One night, she snuck out and went to a party with one of them and got a bit tipsy. This made me really worried and kinda angry because she can be easily taken advantage of in these kinds of situations. So I asked her to please not to drink while she is there. She said okay and promised me she wouldn't do it again. But then about 2 days ago she went to a friends house and they were getting driven somewhere by a random guy, she thought they were going to another friend's house but they were actually going to the driver's house party. This time it wasn't so pretty. She completely lied to me and drank. However, this time one of her drinks were drugged and she blacked out. The guy hosting the party took her upstairs and said he'd watch over her. Her friend being the stupid human being she is, left to go eat and let a random stranger watch over her. My girlfriend woke up in the guys room, naked, realizing that she had been raped. For now, i'm going to try to be supportive and stay with her but it makes me really angry that it took rape for her to learn her lesson. I don't know what I should do. We've been dating for 6 months and I really really like her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Yes it is terrible that she has been raped, even if she was drunk. Of course you must feel awful for her.
But that is no reason to stay with her. I think you need to move on. It sounds as though she cannot be trusted and no matter what she tells you she just goes out and does what she likes. This time the consequences have been awful. That doesn't, however, mean that you have to stay with her.
You can support her as a friend, but I think that should be it. It's not fair on you that you don't know what she is going to be up to, and now she wants to lean on you when she needs you. It's not right.
I understand your predicament completely but I think you need to be strong and move on. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): If you dno't think that you personally will ever recover from it you should leave now, but I understand your predicament about staying or going x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Yes, you have the right to be mad at her for lying to you and getting drunk when she promised she would'nt and you have the right to be mad at her for getting in a strangers car. How ever you cant be mad for someone druggin her im sure she didnt want to be drugged personally. But she should'nt have stayed at the party.
However i understand where you are coming from and it must be very hard for you, but being raped is not a very nice thing at all, it can take away all your selfconfidnece and self esteeme, this will be a very hard time for your girlfreind and although you are hurt from her lies she most likly needs you there for her right now. Help her through her tough stage. You could possibly say its her own fault, but i dont think she should deal with that stress added on what shes going through.
However, if you feeling she is messing you around, you should get out now, dont leave it anylonger or the bonds will tye thicker and it will be harder.
But dont do anything you might regret, because once you loose something its ALWAYS harder to get back.
But dont ever hold this down on her it will be hard for her enough, whats happened has now happended so if you stay with her , just or futer reference dont always fetch it up in an argument, :)
Best of luck hun, xx
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