A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half months now and he told me he's getting condoms and I'm in the runnings for birth control and neither of us have any problems with this. The issue IS: I just got out of another relationship just a few months ago that lasted a year and three months and I still have moderate to strong feelings for my ex (and I know he feels the same because he freakin told me) and I feel that if I have sex with my new guy, I'm going to hurt my ex and I don't want to do that. He's already pissed that left him for my new guy and I've thought about going back to him because we really miss each other and apparently, he's having a hard time finding a new girlfriend anyway. I'm not a virgin (my ex and I have had sex numerous times over the course of our relationship), but I've known my new guy for a few months longer than my ex and I actually wanted to date him before I even met my ex. I have some serious feelings for them both, I just don't know how to handle this. Should I stay with my boyfriend and hope that my feelings develop a bit more or go back to my ex?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Your ex is your ex for a reason. If your relationship were so great with your ex, he wouldn't be your ex. There was something that apparently didn't work in you two's relationship, so I don't see why you would want to go back just because of feelings. Just because you have feelings for someone doesn't mean the relationship will work; that's not enough. Personally I say you should have let yourself have longer time to be single after your break up with your ex to get rid of those feelings before jumping into another relationship. But since that's too late, just stay with who you are already with, you don't need to make more drama or more pain than there already is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for everything!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): I think you've made a good choice.
I think you should probably stay away from your ex for a while. You still have feelings for him and if you spend time with him it will make it harder for you to move on and get over them. After all... You were close to cheating on your boyfriend and that would have been truely terrible.
I hope that your ex moves on too.
Good luck in everything. I hope I helped.
Emivia. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question*Smiles*, thanks. That's really appreciated advice. And I have to say, the more time I spend with my ex, the more I want who I've got now. I mean, my ex and I had some great memories together, but a lot more bad and I felt super comfortable with him and my trust in him could match no other, but I really do feel that I'm laying to rest those precious and not-so-precious things and wanting what is potentially my life partner. I can imagine my new guy and I getting married, having kids, watching them grow up, and just growing old together. As for the sex, I know he'll understand cause he's just great like that! lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): You're ex didn't trust you because you talked to another guy?
I think it was probably very soon for you to get into another relationship after a serious one.
I don't think that you and him getting back together because he's finding it hard getting a new girlfriend is a very valid or good reason.
If you're not sure about either relationship then you should take some time by yourself to see what it is that you truely want.
Don't sleep with your boyfriend if you feel as though it maybe a mistake. Take your time. I'm sure he'll understand.
I would say that I think you should be careful getting back with your ex... He may have lost some trust in you and it might be brought up in every argument you have in the future.
You need to take some time and think about what it is you truely want. Who can you see a future with.. If either of them. Who would you feel most comfortable and happy with. Who would you like to wake up next to each morning?
Make your choice based on what you want and what you will be most happy with... Not because of guilt or because you feel as though you owe it to your ex for old memories or leaving him or because you feel you owe it to your new boyfriend.
Think about you and take your time.
Good luck. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe kind of left each other; it was such a fucked up situation. Like, the first ten months were amazing, but then I had a class with my new guy and we started talking a lot and my feelings just grew for him. I mean, he and I could easily be best friends if we weren't dating. But my ex and I split up because he couldn't trust me anymore because I had kept contact with my boyfriend and it's fully understandable that he didn't want to be with me anymore and I've apologized about everything I've ever done to him. But now he wants me back and I kind of want him back, too, but my heart is so split in two, it's insane! And it doesn't help that I almost cheated on my boyfriend with my ex and my ex didn't have the decency enough to stop me! And although I should take responsibility for that, I felt like shit afterward. But I haven't talked to my ex in three days and the worst part of that is that it's actually killing me not to be with him and/or talk to him. But god, I have these REALLY strong feelings for my new boyfriend and this is just sucking the sanity out of me!
I mean, ME; I NEVER thought I would be the girl that two guys are after! I just want to know how I got myself in this crazy mess and who to choose and how to get myself out!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Why did you leave you last boyfriend?
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