A
female
age
30-35,
*alarulz
writes:i am 17 and have/had a boyfriend before he took a gap year and moved to mexico, we had only been going out 4 months before he left but we had gotten so close that it really was heart breaking, i was a mess for a while and even though we had agreed to break up when he left i still felt overwhelmed with guilt when i first kissed a guy, 2 1/2 months after he had left.he was meant to be gone for 10 months and after about 3 or 4 months his replies were dwindling and we barely spoke even though i did try to keep the communication going. During this time i met an old friend of mine and we hit it off, and even though he had a reli bad reputation he seemed to change with me, he acted completely different with me than i had known him to with any girl and even though i still missed my ex, i started to reli like this guy.Then my ex told me he was coming home for my birthday for 2 weeks and i was so confused, i talked about it with my new boyfriend and we aggreed until i knew how i felt about him we shouldnt stay together, it was a friendly break up but it was reli weird after, like we didnt know how to act around each other and he couldnt understand why i still had feelings for my ex even though he wasnt emailing me more often that once every 2 weeks or so.When my ex came back, even though i phoned him the night he got home, we didnt meet for a week even though id asked him to, he always had an excuse or slept in. I was so embarrassed cos i had to tell people that we hadnt met yet after being quite excited about him coming home, so i decided that i didnt feel aythign for him anymore cs my pride wouldnt let me, but when i did finally see him all the old feeling came rushing back, and even though i told myself we would just be friends i still let him kiss me 3 hours later. we met a few times in that week before he left with a few reli bad moments, no fighting, but he just didnt make an effort, i always had to go to his house and he sometimes feels weird that im 2 years younger and this intensifies when im in my uniform, and one day i bumped into him and his friends when i was in my uniform and for the first time in my life it was awkward with him, he would barely look at me and even his friends noticed so i quickly made my excuses and left.he was leaving for another 3 months then back for the summer then leaving belfast to go to edinburgh next year for university and he wanted to stay toegtehr but i told him no, we should just leave it and see what happens in the summer because him coming home just confused me more than ever.but even though he finally agreed to that we still email everyday and talk on the phone once a week, i dont know if its what i want and i dont even know if i miss him this time. im so confused and need to know if im making the right decision staying with him or at least trying it out again when he comes home?i know at face value it doesnt sound like he treats me right but when we're together we've talked about all of this and he's apologised and said the perfect things, i dont know what it is that isnt letting me let it all go but at times, i wish we had never kissed and it could be easier because we would just be friends.any ideas on what i should do? i dont want to ever feel like a did when he came back and wouldnt see me for a week again.
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male
reader, blazee +, writes (19 April 2009):
 just thinking about it, the old mate of yours changed when he was around you thats how much of an influence you had on him, he was not completely annoyed because you were confussed about your feelings with your ex and he is giving you space to deicde. Hes made the effort. If the guy that went to mexico dosnt appreciate you as much as your old friend does, then go with the guy you know will be there.
All the best x
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