| A
female
age
36-40,
*ls523
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years now...we have a big past, we've both cheated...we've taken breaks....For a long time, I was the one chasing him around while he didnt want to settle down...now, he has changed his ways, and is ready to settle down and is making a clear effort to try and changeI however, am questioning myself as to why Im with him...we still have issues that we've had from the beggining (he thinks i spend too much time with my friends..he wants sex more then i do...he doesnt share his feelings with me)...but now that hes making an effort, I feel like Id be silly to leave him, because the bottom line is, he loves me..even though we have some issuesIm afraid to leave because I am afraid IM the one with the issue, and that i didnt try hard enough, and that all relationships are this much work and im just bad at themBUT i want to leave, because I want to be with someone who will listen to me, and who I can just be myself around without all the fights and headaches, and i want to be with someone who I can see as a good friend as well as alover...Am I just overreacting, and should I stay with him and try and make it work, or should I move on??
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 Ask yourself if you still love him?
If you have another relationship, there will be the same
factors which will be present because no two persons are the same.
Initially you may get along fine but after a certain period
when the real person emerges, you will have to face the same things again.
It would be better if you stay and work things out until you
have tried your very best and think it is hopeless , then you leave him.
You tried your very best and you will have no regrets when you leave.
Otherwise , if you leave, you may regret because you did not give your best efforts.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 You've been together for 4 years and have a past together, he's probably the most serious relationship you've had and it's all become somewhat of a habitual relationship now. You are both maturing and want different things from life. Not all relationships are hard work, when you find someone you really "click" with then everything will fall into place. The reason we have relationships in the first place is to see if we're compatible, you and your boyfriend have stuck with one another but you're not compatible so in my opinion I would say it's time to break the chains and move on.
He's obviously a deep person who likes to keep his thoughts to himself and that will NEVER change, it's just the way he is. You on the other hand need someone who is not afraid to show their feelings and finds it easier to open up to you and although most men find this difficult, there are men out there who will open up to you.
I don't think you have any "issues" at all. You just need someone more tactile, who can show their affection more freely, someone who is not afraid to open up to you and listen to your problems and this guy, no matter how nice he is, just isn't that kind of person.
It's time to move on, remain friends if you can and find someone else who IS more compatible and more conscious of your needs and feelings. He IS out there!!
~Eve~
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): If you want to leave then leave . find someone that will listen to you ! And is a friend and a lover .... if you both don't feel the same about so much stuff you both need to find somebody else .... ya know ... the person who truely completes you . If you really think you'll hurt him and you love him enough to stay then stay but to me it seems like finding someone else would be good for the both of you
I hope this helped
message me anytime :)
*~VG~*
...............................
|
