A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had been with my girlfriend for four years. Not only was it my first and only relationship, it was my first and only relationship. I had always wanted this to be an open relationship because since I had never been in a relationship before, I didn't know if I was really in love or what to make of it. I never acted on this open relationship but my girlfriend finally called my bluff about foru months ago. I've had the most agonizing four months of my life trying to forget her. I realize now that she is the one. I always thought she was before but for some reason I couldn't committ. Now I realize that I just needed to have my heart broken. That may sounds stupid but I had never experienced rejection and that made me take her for granted in some ways. Anyway, I've made a bunch of changes. I've come out to all of my friends and most of my family. I want to be with her always. The problem is that she now has feelings for both of us and she can't decide. I won't pressure her to make a decision lately I've had this urge to just let her go. I don't want to fight over her because I know it hurts her. The thing about letting her go is that there is always that chance that I'll never get her back. I feel too selfish to let her go but I think in the long run that would be best but I also don't want her to think that I don't love her and don't still want to be with her. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 My advice is to date as many other people as you can. Chances are good that you will see her again in the future, and when you do, you will wish you had gotten sex with other people out of your system...which is what broke you up to begin with.
Either way, there is a high chance that the only reason you want her back is that she is your security blanket. That being said, use this break apart to do the things you were unable to do before.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 The situation is out of your control now, all you can do is tell her exactly how you feel tell her that you love her and you are sorry you messed up but you wanted to be sure about your feelings and then you have to give her time to make her decision.
Take care.xx.
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