A
female
age
36-40,
*inkPoddle
writes:I'M STUCK! This is my first "real" relationship. I fell in love with my boyfriend 3years ago. It was a really fast hot and heavy type of relationship. And niether of us could stand being apart. Early in the relationship I became pregnant and we moved in together ASAP. And with that came a lot of stress, happiness, sorrow and non-stop heated arguments. We both had alot of stress and ended up taking it out on each other. After all that he still shows me that the love he had for me from the begining is still there. Only I'm not so sure if the deep love had for him is still there. For over a year now I have been going back and forth in my head about whether or not its going to last. When I finally get to that point in my mind where I'm so feed up he trys to get his act together....just enough for me to change my mind again. When I bring up lossing feelings towards him he gets scared and frantic. But when we argue its like he forgets that he loves me and says things to hurt me. I feel like I took all that I could take, and evey tiny little argument makes me want out more and more. But even still, I love him. I don't want to hurt him. I'm scared to break it off. After all, first relationship, would mean first break-up. I avoid talking about our long term future together because, I dont want to try and see it anymore. I've never felt so much for someone and feel like I can't be with them. Plus we had a child together. Which makes me feel even more stuck. If I broke up with him...I would cry because I know I would hurt him, but at the same time....I think I might be relieved. I don't know what to do. Am I sticking this out for the wrong reasons? Is this just a matter of time before it becomes a horrible break up?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 It sounds like you are just stalling the inevitable.
Regardless of having a child together (obviously together is better for the child) but if YOU'RE not happy together, then that is the main issue.
If you have worked up the courage several times to leave him, and he convinces you to stay, then this is not the sign of a woman content in her relationship. This is the sign of someone at the tail end of a relationship, each time you work up your courage, you are building up towards the day when his please for you to stay and his promises that he will change will have no effect on you.
You need to sit and have a good hard think, what it is you want. Can you picture yourself with him in 5, 10, 20 years? If not, forgetting totally that he will be hurt, and think of your own welfare, you need to move on.
Message me if you need to talk x
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