A
female
age
51-59,
*weetie6116
writes:I've been married for 12 years and been with him a total of 16 years.Here's what I feel. I am finally just plain sick and tired of him. I am tired of him complaining about me about what I do and don't do. I am tired of his anger. I'm tired of seeing him come down the driveway and my heart sinking, looking around to see what in the house is going to piss him off. ( I am not the neatest organised person in the world.)His anger has been with us from day one but I just overlooked it and thought my "true love" would over come it.We have not had a baby yet, had a miscarriage and sadly I was relieved. For many reasons. #1, I thought I didn't want one, #2, he is so grouchy and mean, I felt it would be another source of contention with us.Well now I feel otherwise, only I don't want one with him. It is sad. If I stay in this relationship, I will NEVER have a baby with him. Maybe with someone else, just not him. I have met a real sweet kind man who is so much more laid back than my high strung hubby and before you persecute me, he has very little to do with me because I am married. We have talked a lot and I know he wants a baby, he was with a woman who had a 6 month old when he met her and stayed with her for 4 or 5 years. Even though they are broken up and even though the kid is not even HIS, he STILL gets the kid every weekend either on Saturday or Sunday and takes her places and does things with her. : ) THAT is a nice man if you ask me.Also, sex with hubby is almost non existing. We can go months without it. He has troulbe in that department. Always has. He has never been a real sex crazed kind of guy. And it is driving me crazy. I just don't feel married, I feel like we are roomates. In fact, we tried the other day and it just wouldn't work. He got some *meds* : ) but he says they make his heart race adn he won't take them. I understand that. So I guess I am just supposed to be happy in a sexless marriage?Man my life is confusing. I feel like my love for hubby has faded with the anger issue, no sex and oh yeah, how he flirts with young women in front of me, like I'm some old shoe. I caught him winking at a girl when he though I wasn't looking and when I confronted him, he said it didn't mean anything! Well, it MEANT something to me. This also has been an ongoing thing with him.Anyway, I am going to get counseling, I know I need it. I just wanted to post here and see what others may think. Please feel free!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 July 2008):
You don't need counselling you need to kick this guy out.
You made a mistake and married the wrong guy. But from the sounds of it you have done all you can. Neither of you are happy so tell him you want out. Do you think this is how he imagined a blissful marriage to be?
If you want kids then you need to start acting on it fairly soon as you are heading towards the big 40 and it doesn't get any easier to conceive and carry a baby after that.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, the ex wife +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Hey lady. I got to say first of all, it's your life and you will do what you want to do even if you know leaving is the right thing, you still may stay out of hope for his change.I have been through this. Winking at other ladies doesn't really mean anything. Guys just do that but you should keep your eyes open. Nit picking and unhappiness is usually a sign that he's not at all happy. If you left tomorrow he would probably come running but only because he lost his control.You already answered your question when you said you would have kids just not with him. Any happy woman would love to have children with the man they love and start a family. If you don't want "family" then it might be time to move on.I went through what you're going through and eventually, we got divorced. Good Luck.
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